Is a Beheading Domestic Violence?

I know the title of this blog is awful and distasteful, but "Is beheading domestic violence/domestic homicide?" is a discussion I had with a gentleman yesterday.

If you are not aware, a man in the Buffalo, NY area told police he decapitated his wife in the offices of the Bridges TV television station that he founded.

You can find the story here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/18/nyregion/18behead.html?bl&ex=1235106000&en=8b9eb32a5d94c23a&ei=5087%0A

The wife filed for divorce on February 6. The husband killed her at his workplace on February 12. The New York Times article indicates there were prior incidents of domestic violence in the home that police had responded to. Clearly this is a case of domestic violence at the workplace being taken to its ultimate level (to me, anyway).

So why was there any reason for discussion about whether or not this was "domestic violence"?

Allegedly it was "not domestic violence" because the man was Muslim and had founded a Muslim-American television station to help fight Muslim stereotypes. The man I talked with suggested that it was an "honor killing" so somehow that was different than "domestic violence."

I don't blame the guy for being confused about it. . .people often are confused about domestic violence.

Let me be clear on this -- EVERYONE has the right to be safe and secure and loved in their own home. No one has the right to abuse or kill anyone they love. It does not matter the reason they give:

"I was angry"

"I drank to much"

" You pushed my buttons"

"You started it"

"I wasn't myself"

"It will never happen again"

"If you would only do what I ask. . ."

"If you would only. . ."

So don't let labels like "honor killing" or any other kind of killing confuse you. Killing a spouse is killing a spouse. Abuse is abuse. Domestic violence is domestic violence. It does not matter who it happens to.

Let's just all work together to stop it, ok?

If you need help anytime, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

If you are an employer and you need resources and assistance for help in your workplace, we have lots of information on our website at the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, http://www.caepv.org/.