I have been thinking about writing this blog entry for a couple days now. This past week has been incredibly sad. I’ve had to do something a person should never have to do -- try to help people understand why fathers would kill their children – because it happened here where we are located, and then it happened in Washington State. I can explain some of the possible “whys” to people – but that is different than understanding it myself.
I can explain that an abuser can say or think “if I can’t have you, no one else can,” and by extension they can mean the children. Or an abuser wants to punish the victim of abuse in the worst way possible. And that is by killing the children. I can explain those things. . but it doesn’t mean I understand them.
You know, I can write and speak on domestic violence and its impact on the workplace, and I can tell you what how it affects your company and your employees. I can even tell you what you should do about it and give you great practices and great resources through our website at www.caepv.org.
I do know that helps make a difference. When companies address this issue it is “enlightened self interest” for them – especially in these turbulent times. And it is great for our society – when companies stand up and say “Hey, domestic violence IS our business –and we want to do something to address it” that sends a strong message to all segments of society – and to employees who are victims and abusers.
However, one of the things I have learned is that while the “business case” is vitally important, until an employer personally understands the very human cost of domestic violence, they won’t fully “get it.” Until they see the very human face of domestic violence, they won’t see it as their “business” and things won’t really change much.
Isn't that true for all of us?
This past week has been really, really personal for a lot of people – from Washington State to New York State and in between right here in Central Illinois. My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered a loss.
I hope we all see these faces of people we may or may not know and learn from their incredible loss and act to make a difference. So there is not a next time.