Verizon Wireless Supports Joplin, MO Through Mobile Giving

I know there are lots of ways to help in this time of tragedy in Joplin and elsewhere - here's one:

Verizon Wireless has quickly implemented a mobile giving program for customers looking for a simple way to contribute to relief and recovery efforts following the devastation in Joplin, Mo.  Customers can use their mobile phones to make $10 donations to a variety of non-profit organizations responding to the tornado and the needs of local citizens in the aftermath – including American Red Cross Relief and United Way - Heart of Missouri.

 
Customers can choose from five different nonprofit organizations and make $10 donations by sending a text message. Donating is easy – customers simply text the specific word to the organization's designated short code:
      

·         American Red Cross Relief: Text "REDCROSS" to 90999

·         Convoy of Hope: Text "CONVOY" to 50555

·         Salvation Army: Text "JOPLIN" to 80888

·         United Way - Heart of Missouri: Text "JOPLIN" to 864833

·         World Vision, Inc.: Text "TORNADO" to 20222

Verizon Wireless always waives text-messaging fees for disaster relief, so text messages are free when used to make donations to any of these organizations, and 100 percent of each $10 donation goes to the relief organization.

For Verizon Wireless customers who pay monthly bills, the $10 donations will appear on the next regular monthly bill. For customers using the company's prepaid services, the $10 donation will be taken from customers' prepaid balance.

 

The Apology Olympics

"If there were an apology Olympics, women would beat the pants off men. According to recent research, including a study at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, a clear-cut gender gap emerges when measuring just how often men and women apologize as well as the reasons behind it. While many women say 'sorry' as automatically as they say hello and goodbye, they also apologize for something as simple as bumping into someone's chair. Men, in contrast, see no reason to apologize for trivial transgressions like a chair bump."


I've been intrigued by this article by Merci Miglino ever since I first read it.


It is called "Apologizing -- Again?" and discusses how women are much more likely to apologize than men...and how apologizing can be dis-empowering and potentially part of the cycle of domestic violence.


Why domestic violence?  Because of the idea that domestic violence victims apologize "for anything and everything."  And of course that is not healthy.


But I want to point something else out.


Abusers apologize too. They say things like:


"I'm sorry...it won't happen again."


"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you."


"I'm sorry...if you didn't make me so crazy, it wouldn't have happened."


That isn't healthy either.


Personally, I think apologizing from a place of strength is a sign of....strength. Not weakness.  My husband would tell you that while I might say "I'm sorry" for bumping someone in a store...it is REALLY hard for me to say "I'm sorry" when something is real.  It is difficult for me to admit that I caused harm or hurt to him. I feel like the Fonz trying to say "I was wrong." After almost 19 years of marriage it is still hard to get the words out.


I am not sure how healthy it is to tell anyone - women or men - that it is in "our wiring" to apologize...and that somehow that is not ok.


I think it is better to  teach our children (and ourselves) how to say "I was wrong" - and mean it.


What do you think?

Domestic Violence and the Workplace: Protecting Your Employees and Your Bottom Line in Six Steps

By Kim Wells, Executive Director, Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

What do your employees bring through the door when they walk into work?  

In a national survey of full-time employed adults by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) 21% indicated they were victims of domestic violence – and 64% percent indicated their ability to work was significantly impacted.

According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work a year—the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of the violence. The CDC also reports that the cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work).  

So – what can employers do to proactively keep their workplaces productive and safe? 

Step 1: Develop a domestic violence and the workplace policy and program

·         Involve relevant stakeholders such as senior management, human resources, security, legal, communications, media relations, employee assistance programs (EAPs), medical, health or safety programs. This group becomes the “multi-disciplinary domestic violence response team” which is key to the process.

·        Ensure EAP providers are trained in domestic violence identification and response, and are able to appropriately refer to domestic violence services.

·        Seek expertise externally from domestic violence specialists.

·         Ensure that senior management sign off on this process and champion the outcomes.

Step 2: Develop a policy addressing domestic violence containing:

·        A clear definition of domestic violence, with examples/case histories of how this affects the workplace. Include a statement that domestic violence is unacceptable at home and in the workplace.  

·        A clear statement that no violence or threats of violence should take place on workplace grounds or while an employee is on duty or acting in the interests of the employer. Include potential consequences of such actions. (Perpetrators of domestic violence may use workplace resources such as telephone, fax or email to threaten, harass or abuse their current or former partners. In addition to being a misuse of organizational resources, this behavior may be in breach of a current protection order or constitute a criminal offence, such as stalking.)

·         A clear statement of the employer's commitment to addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue and examples of workplace accommodations and assistance available.

·         A clear indication of where and how staff can access assistance regarding domestic violence and the workplace.

Step 3: Develop procedures for implementing the program, ensuring they include:

·         Details of the first point of contact for employees needing support.

·         The role of key personnel in liaison with domestic violence specialists.

·        The security measures, plans and procedures provided in the workplace to protect against domestic violence.

·         An assurance of an employee’s right to confidentiality and support when they disclose domestic violence.

·        Guidance about how managers and employees should handle disclosures of domestic violence.

Step 4: Distribute the policy

·         Produce a compact, easy to read version of the policy and provide to all staff.

·         Include the policy on the workplace intranet and orientation materials.

·        Ensure that operating units within the workplace vital to the success of the program are fully engaged and prepared before the policy and procedures are widely shared (two examples would be security and human resources.)

Step 5: Provide training

·        Train managers to recognize signs of violence for potential victims and perpetrators. Local domestic violence service providers often can assist with this training at little or no cost.  

·         Because managers must be careful to address concerns in the context of employment (unless the employee self-discloses), managers should understand how to respond—to appropriately address changes in behavior that is affecting performance.  

·       Train managers to refer—how to access internal and external resources for an employee.  Managers should not give personal advice or counseling- this type of help should be left to the experts.

·        Employee education should include a basic understanding of domestic violence, possible warning signs, and how to respond sensitively and confidentially to an abused co-worker. As in the case of managers, co-workers are not counselors, but facilitators in helping co-workers seeking assistance.

Step 6: Build awareness through workplace communication

·        Display public education materials about domestic violence in accessible areas such as lunch rooms, restrooms, and on the organization’s website.

·         Provide details of where victims and abusers can get help locally or an anonymous help line.

·        Organize regular awareness training and education in all levels of the organization about domestic violence.

·        Incorporate information about awareness of domestic violence into employee orientation programs, handbooks, and intranet-based human resources information.  For best effect, educational and awareness programs on domestic violence should be intertwined with other complimentary programs. Employee wellness fairs, workplace safety programs, town hall meetings, and family issues seminars are effective venues for sharing information about domestic violence.

State and municipal laws vary greatly with reference to domestic violence and workplace issues (unemployment insurance, non-discrimination laws, etc). Employers should work directly with their legal departments to develop policies and programs.

Employers who take on the challenge of addressing intimate partner violence as a workplace issue are true leaders. They are choosing enlightened self-interest in an effort to save lives—and change society.

You can find more information on these steps – including a sample policy -- at www.caepv.org in our Take Action/Starting a Workplace Program Section.

Glamour Launches "Tell Somebody" Relationship Violence Awareness Campaign In Honor of Yeardley Love

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of UVA student Yeardley Love. (Note our blogpost about Yeardley Love's death and what to say to someone you care about here.)

To honor the one-year anniversary of her death, Glamour is encouraging women to talk about relationship violence—both to ask for help and to offer it without judgment. Glamour's Tell Somebody campaignis aimed at raising awareness about the secret that kills four women a day in the United States—relationship abuse. Over the course of an average year in twenty-first-century America, more than 1,400 women will be murdered by someone they've loved. Glamour asks: Why are women more likely to be killed by their boyfriends now than they were 35 years ago? And what can we do to reverse the trend?

In an exclusive Glamour/Harris Interactive representative, online survey* of 2,542 women ages 18 to 35—single, living with a partner and married—a full 29 percent said they'd been in an abusive relationship. Another 30 percent said they'd never been abused but then went on to acknowledge that, at some point, a partner had viciously hurt them: from verbal degradation to being strangled or threatened with a knife. View the top findings from the survey at http://glmr.me/jKUWxq.

The Tell Somebody campaign kicks off in Glamour's June issue with an exclusive interview with Vice President Joe Biden and Dr. Jill Biden. Also included in the feature are family photos of Yeardley Love that serve as a reminder that the women we hear about in the news are much more than just headlines. Many brave women came forward to tell their stories—and 62 percent said that having the support of a friend, family member or coworker helped them "get through the relationship safely."

The message here? Tell Somebody. Ther feature includes exactly what to say to a friend or loved one who may be in an abusive relationship.(Note our blogpost about Yeardley Love's death and what to say to someone you care about here.)

"The fact that abusive relationships have actually gotten more deadly for young women in the 21st century is not only confounding—it's maddening," says Cindi Leive, editor-in-chief of Glamour magazine. "Glamour wants to encourage all young women to start talking about this violence. Our message is simple: If you, or a friend, are in a dangerous relationship, Tell Somebody."

Young celebrities like Emma Stone and Ashley Greene, are also joining the campaign, coming together to create an awareness video highlighting shocking statistics and underlining the message of the campaign: If you or a friend is suffering, Tell Somebody. To see the video, along with a moving series of exclusive videos of survivors, go to http://www.glamour.com/tell-somebody/video/2011/05/tell-somebody-help-put-an-end-to-relationship-violence.

There is an easy way everyone can help: In 2010the National Domestic Violence Hotline received 281,787 calls, but due to a lack of resources, 83,027 of those calls went unanswered—that's more than 1,590 calls per week. We can change that. Glamour, the Avon Foundation for Women and the Avon Speak Out Against Domestic Violence program—an initiative that has donated more than $30 million globally to reduce domestic violence since 2004—are working to make sure that no call goes unanswered from now through October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. "Women need to have someone who will listen," says Katie Ray-Jones, director of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. "We know that for about 85 percent of our callers, it's their first time ever telling their story."

Glamour is asking people to make a $10 donation by texting TELLNOW to 85944. The Avon Foundation will match every dollar donated, up to $200,000. "It takes so much courage for a woman to pick up the phone and make that call," Vice President Joe Biden told Glamour. The least we can do is make sure someone is there for her.

Join Glamour's campaign to stop relationship violence by changing your Facebook status to—Relationship violence kills 4 women a DAY in the U.S. If you or someone you know is being abused, Tell Somebody. Make sure someone is always listening by texting TELLNOW to 85944. Your $10 donation will help keep the National Domestic Violence Hotline open.

To learn more about Tell Somebody, visit glamour.com/tell-somebody.

*Survey Methodology: This survey was conducted online within the United States between March 3 to 17, 2011 among 2,542 women (aged 18-35). Figures for age, race/ethnicity, education, region and household income were weighted where necessary to bring them into line with their actual proportions in the population. Go to http://www.Glamour.com/tell-somebody for the full methodology.

MARY KAY "TRUTH ABOUT ABUSE" NATIONAL SURVEY FINDS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RISES NATIONWIDE FOR THIRD YEAR WHILE ECONOMY STRUGGLES

Domestic violence shelters throughout the United States report the economy continues to significantly affect women – with domestic violence increasing for the third straight year and government cutbacks decreasing shelters’ ability to help survivors.  In addition to domestic violence incidents growing and funding sources diminishing, the abuse is reportedly more severe, victims are struggling to find jobs and shelters expect the situation will only get worse in light of the economy – according to the third “Mary Kay Truth About Abuse” national survey.

More than 670 domestic violence shelters across the country were surveyed in March 2011.  Shelters report the economy’s decline since 2008 has increased demand for their services, and they also note their shelters’ ability to raise funds and provide services will be hampered over the next 12 months.  Detailed findings from the 2011 “Mary Kay Truth About Abuse” survey reveal alarming trends in light of the economy’s decline since 2008, including:

·         80 percent of domestic violence shelters nationwide (more than three out of four) report an increase in women seeking assistance from abuse.

·         73 percent of shelters attribute this rise in abuse to financial issues.

·         48 percent of shelters link this increase in domestic violence to job loss.

·         89 percent of domestic violence shelters expect their overall situation during the next 12 months will be worse than now, or the same as now, due to the economy.

·         76 percent of domestic violence shelters (three out of four) indicate their funding has decreased the most from governmental organizations.

·         65 percent of women in shelters can’t find employment due to the economy.

·         56 percent of shelters note the abuse is more violent now than before the economic downturn.

·         77 percent of shelters (more than three-fourths) indicate their clients stayed longer in their relationships due to the state of the economy.

Anne Crews, Mary Kay Inc. vice president of government relations and board member for The Mary Kay Foundation^SM, added:  “The survey results clearly identify the increasing need for supporting women and children affected by domestic violence nationwide – especially in a challenging economy.  Mary Kay pledges once again to continue its commitment to preventing and ending this epidemic.  For nearly 48 years, we’ve been true to our approach of doing well by doing good.  And we will continue to stand on our promise to help change the lives of women and children in the United States and around the world.”

The third “Mary Kay Truth About Abuse” survey polled 672 domestic violence shelters across the United States about domestic violence and the economy since September 2008, a major turning point in the U.S. economy.  The study was conducted online between March 14-30, 2011.  Comprehensive 2011 survey findings summarize national and regional results.  Mary Kay conducted its first nationwide survey of shelters in 2009 and second in 2010.

Great Ways to Help Make A Difference with Break the Cycle, Joyful Heart Foundation, and the Allstate Foundation

Do you want to do something to help nonprofit organizations -- but you don't have person funds to do so yourself? Let Chase and Allstate do it for you! Here are two great ways:

 Help CAEPV Members Break the Cycle and Joyful Heart Foundation win up to $500,000 from Chase Community Giving.

If you've never participated in Chase Community Giving before, you'll be to asked to “like” Chase Community Giving (https://www.facebook.com/ChaseCommunityGiving ) and grant the application access to your Facebook profile--once you click "Allow" you'll be taken through to the voting page.

• Break the Cycle: https://apps.facebook.com/chasecommunitygiving/charities/954582664-break-the-cycle  
• Joyful Heart: https://apps.facebook.com/chasecommunitygiving/charities/721519537-joyful-heart-foundation  

Join Allstate, Make a Promise to Improve Your Finances, and Help Grameen America

Join the Allstate Foundation and Dress for Success in making a promise to improve your finances. Click to Empower! will donate $1 to Grameen America for every promise made. Help them reach their goal of donating up to $10,000.

It's simple, click on the Make a Promise tab on their Facebook page and select a promise! 

So....click away!


 

TWO NEW STUDIES FIND MEN SUFFER PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA FROM PARTNER ABUSE

Men who are abused by their female partners can suffer significant psychological trauma, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and suicidal thoughts, according to two new papers published by the American Psychological Association.

Although most reported domestic abuse is committed by men against women, a growing body of research has picked up on the prevalence and significance of domestic violence perpetrated against men, says research published in the April issue of Psychology of Men & Masculinity.

“Given the stigma surrounding this issue and the increased vulnerability of men in these abusive relationships, we as mental health experts should not ignore the need for more services for these men,” said British researcher Anna Randle, PsyD, lead author of a paper summarizing two decades of research into domestic violence effects on men.

Approximately 8 percent of men and 25 percent of women reported being sexually or physically assaulted by a current or former partner, according to the National Violence against Women Survey, which polled 8,000 men and 8,000 women and was published by the National Institute of Justice in 1998. While this survey did not indicate the sex of the perpetrator, it provided the most up-to-date comprehensive interpersonal violence statistics at the time of the study, according to the researchers.

One analysis of the survey’s results showed that male victims were just as likely to suffer from PTSD as female victims of domestic abuse. In addition, psychological abuse was just as strongly associated with PTSD as was physical violence in these male victims. “This raises questions and concerns for male victims of domestic violence, given findings that women are more likely to perpetrate psychological than physical aggression toward male partners,” wrote Randle.

Randle noted one study showing that abuse rates among same-sex couples are similar to those of heterosexual couples. However, the depth of research on male same-sex couples is limited when compared to studies of heterosexual couples, she said.

In the second study, led by Denise Hines, PhD, from Clark University, researchers looked at two independent sample groups totaling 822 men between the ages of 18 and 59. The first sample was composed of 302 men who had sought professional help after being violently abused by their female partners. The authors called this “intimate terrorism,” characterized by much violence and controlling behavior.

The second sample was composed of 520 men randomly recruited to participate in a national phone survey in which they were asked questions about their relationship. Of this general community, 16 percent said they had sustained minor acts of violent and psychological abuse during arguments with their female partners. This type of abuse was referred to in the research as “common couple violence,” in which both partners lashed out physically at each other.

The researchers found that in both groups of men, there were associations between abuse and post-traumatic stress symptoms. However, the “intimate terror victims” who had sought professional help were at a much greater risk of developing PTSD than the men from the general community group who said they had engaged in more minor acts of violence with their partners, according to the researchers.

“This is the first study to show that PTSD is a major concern among men who sustain partner violence and seek help,” said Hines.

Research has shown severe underreporting of spousal or partner abuse of men, according to Randle. For example, men are not as likely to report serious injuries due to abuse, and psychological or less violent abuse is more likely to go unreported to authorities. In addition, police are less likely to arrest female suspects accused of violence than male suspects, according to another study cited by Randle.

The lack of reliable data has led to some confusion in the literature on domestic violence effects on men, the researchers said. They suggest more rigorous research focusing specifically on male victims.

Article: “A Review of the Evidence on the Effects of Intimate Partner Violence on Men.” Anna A. Randle, PsyD, Multidimensional Treatment Foster Care, England; Cynthia A. Graham, PhD, Brunel University, England; Psychology of Men & Masculinity, Vol. 12, No.2. http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-12-2-97.pdf


Article: “Symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Men Who Sustain Intimate Partner Violence: A Study of Help seeking and Community Samples.” Denise A. Hines, PhD, Clark University; Emily M. Douglas, PhD, Bridgewater State College; Psychology of Men & Masculinity, Vol. 12, No. 2. http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-12-2-112.pdf

Workplace Violence Down 75 Percent Since 1993

Here's some great news -- workplace violence fell 75 percent from 1993 to 2009, affecting law enforcement officers, security guards and bartenders the most, U.S. officials say.

Erika Harrell, a statistician at the Justice Department Bureau of Justice Statistics, says workplace violence dropped from 2.1 million non-fatal violent crimes in 1993 to 572,000 non-fatal violent crimes in 2009. Non-fatal violent crimes are defined as rape, robbery or assault.

The number of workplace homicides decreased by 51 percent, from a high of 1,068 homicides in 1993 to 521 homicides in 2009, Harrell says. Eighty percent of workplace homicides were shootings.

Who is victimized? Males had a higher rate of workplace violence. Non-Hispanic whites had a higher rate of workplace violence than non-Hispanic blacks and people ages 20-34 had the highest rate of workplace violence.

What about who commits the violence?  Strangers committed about 53 percent of non-fatal workplace violence against males and about 41 percent against females. From 2005 to 2009, 38 percent of workplace homicide offenders were robbers, 32 percent were other assailants, 21 percent were work associates and 8 percent were spouses, relatives and other personal acquaintances.

An interesting question - what will the "downtick" or "uptick" be from 2009 - 2011? Some people believe the economic downturn has caused an increase in workplace violence.  Is this true?  Or does it just "seem" that way to us? 

And while it's great that workplace violence in general has gone down,  if you are an employer (or employee) dealing with an unsafe workplace situation, it doesn't matter to you if workplace violence is "on the decline"...you don't feel safe and you need help. That's why we are thankful we can assist employers who are members of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence in "real time" - and provide general information to employers who call or email us. 

Visit our website at http://www.caepv.org/ for resources and information. (And don't forget, just like outside of work, violence at work is a crime.  Report it to law enforcement.)


(The report, Workplace Violence, 1993-2009, (NCJ 233231), is available at http://www.bjs.gov/. )

What Are We Missing (or Why Do We Miss It?)

Perhaps you've seen the reports about the study from the University of Pennsyvania that found about 80 percent of female victims of intimate partner violence are treated in U.S. hospitals, but most are not identified as abuse victims.

The study, published online in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, found of the women treated in hospital emergency rooms, 72 percent are not identified as abuse victims, and of those who are identified, few are offered adequate support.

It is interesting because many hospitals have mandated protocols regarding domestic violence - it is also interesting because (quoting the study here) "Women who had filed a police complaint the day of treatment, had been taken to the hospital by police, had self-disclosed domestic assault, or had mental health and substance abuse issues were more likely to be identified as victims of domestic violence."

Why is that interesting to me?  Because ER staff may do what many of us tend to do..."assume" what a victim of domestic violence looks like or what they might be like.....not realizing a victim of domestic violence could really be anyone who walks into the ER.

Just like a victim could be anyone walking through our workplaces.

I remember doing a training for managers at one of our CAEPV member companies and talking about some of the potential signs a person might be a victim of domestic violence -- but then noting "Or -- the person may not show ANY of these signs....your overachieving greatest worker may be suffering from domestic violence at home."

A manager looked at me, sighed, and said (rather exasperated) "Then how am I supposed to know WHO is my victim of domestic violence?"

I said "You aren't." 

I explained that a manager wants to make sure everyone who works for him/her gets the resources and information about domestic violence to all employees.  Because you just never know who may be a victim.


So - why does the ER "miss" domestic violence?  Why does the workplace miss it?

I think we "miss it" because we "want to find our victim".....we want to think we "know" what a person who commits domestic violence looks like...or what a person who lives through domestic violence looks like.

But we don't.

So I think I understand why (protocols aside), emergency room staff struggle just like we all do.  We miss it because we think "it can't be that person." (Even if we don't consciously think it.)

It is a good lesson to learn - by assuming who is NOT a victim, we may not give information, or ask a question that may save a life.  Not only at a hospital, or a doctor's office....but at a workplace, a school, a community of faith, a family....anywhere.

Domestic Violence Costs Australia $13 Billion A Year

So -- what does domestic violence cost?

A new national report from Australia has put a figure on the economic cost of domestic violence and has found abusive relationships have a significant impact on a woman's financial security in that country.

Researchers, including Dr. Rachelle Braaf from the University of New South Wales, interviewed both victims of violence and service providers. Dr. Braaf says domestic abuse costs the Australian economy more than $13 billion a year.

"It is a huge cost to the Australian economy - not only in responding directly to domestic violence, but also to things like the impact on work and productivity, impact on the healthcare system, impact on the legal system and so on," she said.

The study also found domestic violence has a significant impact on a woman's financial security, both during and after the relationship. It found the decision to stay or leave an abusive relationship is, for many women, affected by financial factors.

The research shows money issues are usually either the trigger or the obstacle to leaving, with many women finding men in control of their finances or impeding their ability to work. Financial difficulties also impact on a woman's recovery from abuse, with ongoing legal issues, costly child care and dealing with debts incurred by their partners.

"What we were trying to do was to investigate whether financial issues were playing a bigger role than previously suspected in terms of women's safety and their ability to recover from the abuse, and the research has definitely shown that that is the case," Dr. Braaf said.

"Primarily we wanted people to understand that there is that strong link between domestic violence and women's financial outcomes."

The report recommends governments and financial institutions help fund special products such as low-interest loans for victims of domestic violence and that employers establish more supportive workplace arrangements.

Not only does this study show that domestic violence is not just a "private matter" impacting only the lives of those involved, but it shows the importance of programs like those within workplaces of CAEPV member companies.

It also shows the importance of programs like the Allstate Foundation's financial literacy program (I really encourage you to visit this site -- you'll be amazed at the curriculum they provide...and inspired by the videos!)  The Allstate Foundation supports survivors through resources targeted to build financial independence  -- and educates the public on how hard it is for people to leave an abusive relationship without economic resources.

For more information on the costs of domestic violence in terms of the workplace, productivity, healthcare, etc, visit the FACTS AND STATS section of the CAEPV website.

While I would never measure the cost of domestic violence in terms of dollars alone...it is important for us to understand that whether we know it or not, it impacts us all.  Perhaps seeing it in terms of dollars and cents will make it more real for some.

ALLSTATE FOUNDATION VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS WORK TO END DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The Allstate Foundation is proud of the passion that Allstate employees and agents have for serving their communities. Now you can help support it, too.

Once again one of Allstate’s YouTube videos highlighting the Foundation’s work to end domestic violence is competing for an award. The video features the important work that an Allstate Agent and domestic violence advocate are doing to build the financial empowerment of domestic violence survivors. Help this video secure a spot in the top ten for the second year in a row.

Click here to view and vote for their video.

The Boston College Center for Corporate Citizenship is where leading corporate citizens go to stay ahead of the curve – and The Allstate Foundation is honored that their video is being showcased in their contest. Public voting will narrow down the videos candidates to the top ten between now and March 10. Then, public voting closes and Boston College membership will select the winner.

The Allstate Foundation needs your help to get into the top ten! They ask that you encourage your networks to vote too at www.bcccc.net/index.cfm?pageId=2244

Blindsided

Last night we were driving home from doing errands and getting groceries and we saw it....a car run a red light and slam into another car.

I'm sure the person who had the green had no idea what was coming - you don't expect that you have to look out for people running red lights when you are proceeding down the road with a "full on" green light.

The driver who was hit was pretty "shocked" -- he didn't seem hurt (thank goodness) but he just seemed...well blindsided.  He just did not expect to get hit out of nowhere.  He was just driving along obeying the traffic rules and suddenly out of nowhere he was t-boned, swung around, and turned the wrong way on a one-way street with a damaged vehicle.

After we made sure both drivers were ok, called 911, talked to the police, and went on our way, my husband and I were talking about how no one expects to get hit like that. 

In a lot of accidents...you kind of see it coming....you kind of know you are going to get in an accident....but not when you are blindsided.

It made me think about domestic violence.

No one goes into a relationship expecting to be abused.  No one loves a person, has a person say they love them back....expecting to be hit, or verbally abused, or called ugly names...

By the time that happens....I think a person is blindsided.  A lot like the guy in the car accident last night.  They were going on in life, expecting to be safe and secure and loved in a relationship...and instead they were blindsided.

I noticed this morning when I was driving to work that I was looking around corners for cars that might "blindside" me...I don't usually do that.  I'm careful...but I usually expect that most drivers will obey the traffic laws.

I don't expect to be blindsided.

No one should.

Not when we're driving.  And not when we're in relationships with people who are supposed to love us.



 

"When You Solve Million Dollar Problems Every Day For A Living..."

“WHEN YOU SOLVE MILLION DOLLAR PROBLEMS EVERY DAY FOR A LIVING, WHEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR PARTNER ABUSING YOU, YOU FIGURE YOU CAN SOLVE THAT PROBLEM, TOO. THE TROUBLE IS, YOU CAN’T, BECAUSE YOU DID NOT MAKE THE PERSON START HITTING YOU, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP.” (Senior Human Resources Executive, Fortune 500 Company)


 The above quote is from a woman working at a company that is a member of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV). She told me the hardest thing she ever did was walk down the hall to ask for help from someone who worked for her.

Because she was supposed to be the smart, professional educated one…not the one being abused and asking for help.

So how does domestic violence impact the workplace? Here’s some insight from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

• In February of 2008, the CDC released the most comprehensive US survey regarding intimate partner violence - 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men reported at least one lifetime episode of intimate-partner violence.

• According to the CDC, intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work a year—the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of the violence.

• The cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work).

And some additional insights into productivity losses:

• Researchers from the University of Arkansas found that women who were victims of recent domestic violence had 26 percent more time lost to tardiness and absenteeism than non-victims.

If you think that this does not happen to people who work, think again. The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence did a national survey of full-time employed adults, and found the following: 

• 21% of the full-time employed adults polled identified themselves as victims of domestic violence; 64% percent of them indicated their ability to work was significantly impacted

• 31% of co-workers felt obliged to cover for a co-worker who as a victim; 38% of co-workers were concerned for their own safety

What about abusers? The Maine Department of Labor found that:

• 78% of surveyed perpetrators used workplace resources to express remorse or anger, check up on, pressure, or threaten their victim

• 74% had easy access to their intimate partner’s workplace

• 21% of offenders reported they contacted the victim at the workplace

And why is it that victims don’t just leave?

• In cases of homicide related to domestic violence; 75% of the time it is when the victim is leaving or has left the abuser. This means leaving is potentially VERY dangerous for a victim—a victim who may be your employee.

What about workplace safety?

• Domestic violence coming to the workplace accounts for 24% of workplace violence incidents (BLS, October 2006)

So why should employers care about this? If you haven’t already gotten the sense (and there is more information available in the Facts and Stats section of the CAEPV website):

• It is an absenteeism issue
• It is a productivity issue
• It is a turnover issue
• It is a presenteeism issue (this means you are present, but not really focused and able to work)
• It is a workplace safety issue

And who in your workplace is potentially impacted by domestic violence coming to work?

• Victim
• Abusive person
• Co-worker
• Manager
• Family member

So what can an employer do?

Here are the "six steps" that we suggest at the Corporate Alliance for creating a successful domestic violence in the workplace policy. You can find an entire downloadable document on these six steps on our website at http://www.caepv.org/ in our Take Action/Starting a Workplace Program Section.

1) Organize a multi-disciplinary team to oversee the process.
A multidisciplinary team allows the stakeholders in different areas of the company to plan for program implementation in a way that works best for the organization. The stakeholder group should establish a realistic action plan and timeline for implementing the program. Areas that should be represented on the team include professionals from the following areas: human resources; health and medical; legal; security; internal communications; public or media relations or consumer affairs; community outreach; employee assistance programs (EAPs); and unions.

A key component to the success of a workplace program is a commitment from the uppermost levels of the organization. To give the team legitimacy, it is optimal to have the chief executive officer (CEO) or president appoint its members. In this first step, employers may want to consider surveying employees regarding issues of workplace safety, including intimate partner violence. This approach allows the multidisciplinary team to have a baseline level regarding employee awareness of all workplace safety issues.

2) Develop a workplace policy addressing intimate partner violence.


The CAEPV sample policy (available on our website) includes the issue of intimate partner violence in a more comprehensive policy on workplace safety. This fact does not mean that a company cannot have a separate policy on domestic violence as a workplace issue. For example, CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne Inc. has two distinct policies; however, the inclusion of intimate partner violence within a comprehensive policy may streamline the process for many companies.

The multidisciplinary team should review existing policies and procedures to determine which policy covers the issue of intimate partner violence. Examples of such policies include family friendly benefits, such as flexible leave time that can be used to attend court or go to counseling. The policy should allow supervisors and human resources professionals to offer paid time off, flexible hours, or new shifts to victims so that the victims can avoid or flee their batterers, seek social service assistance, or deal with legal matters. Policies should emphasize that no violence or threats of violence should take place on workplace grounds or while an employee is on duty or acting in the interests of the employer, and they should spell out potential consequences of such actions.

This approach holds true whether the person making the threat is to a co-worker, vendor, or intimate partner at home. It allows companies to discipline abusive employees who are violent or who threaten violence, including those who use workplace phones, faxes, or e-mail or other resources to harass their intimate partners.

State and municipal laws vary greatly with reference to intimate partner violence and workplace issues such as unemployment insurance and nondiscrimination laws. Companies should work directly with their legal departments to develop policies and programs. They can access up-to-date information on legislation regarding intimate partner violence and unemployment insurance, leave for victims of domestic violence, nondiscrimination laws, domestic violence policies, and workplace restraining orders at the Legal Momentum website (www.legalmomentum.org ).

The focus of workplace policies and plans should be safety issues for the workplace and for the victim. Keep in mind that a workplace policy and program is only as good as the internal culture that supports it. Companies must create a workplace in which victimized employees believe that they will get help and will not be fired or discriminated against for sharing this information with a supervisor or manager. The same must be true for batterers who voluntarily seek help through workplace resources.

3) Provide training - "Recognize, Respond and Refer”.

A series of departments within each organization should be trained; first and foremost, all members of the interdisciplinary team should receive training. This training includes awareness and general knowledge of intimate partner violence and familiarity with the company’s policies and protocols in handling such cases. Specific protocols include determining who brings the team together when a case comes up and how cases are reviewed. This training must take place before any internal publicity about the policy or program.

Members of the security team should be trained to perform threat assessments; help create individual workplace safety plans; and assist victims of intimate partner violence by providing escorts to and from the office, securing parking and work spaces, screening calls, and providing other services. In some states, employers can apply for orders of protection on behalf of victimized employees.

The goal is to train managers to recognize—to be aware of signs of violence for potential victims and perpetrators, and local domestic violence service providers often can assist with this training at little or no cost. Because managers are not in a position to address domestic violence as a separate issue unless the employee self-discloses the problem, managers should understand how to respond—to appropriately address changes in behavior that is affecting performance. Finally, managers should learn to whom to refer—whom to call internally and externally if such a situation arises. (There is actually a fourth “R” if a workplace gets really good—reach out—partner with the community and other employers.)

Training should include issues of privacy and confidentiality. In some companies, information regarding a domestic violence situation is kept separately from the regular employee file to protect the confidentiality of the victim. Company representatives should not give personal advice or counseling (unless they are part of an in-house EAP)—this type of help should be left to the experts. Explanations of items, such as protective orders and how to enforce them under local law, are helpful. Training should outline what actions are appropriate and what referrals are available. Policies and protocols are guidelines, however, and there are not always black and white correct answers. Many incidents have to be handled on a case-by-case basis.

Employee education should include an understanding of intimate partner violence, possible warning signs, and how to respond sensitively and confidentially when victimized employees are identified. Employees should learn how to communicate with a victim or a perpetrator. As in the case of managers, coworkers are not counselors, but are facilitators for helping co-workers.


4) Build awareness through workplace communications.

Employers can use newsletters, payroll stuffers, e-mail, intranet sites, posters, and brochures to provide ongoing information to employees. Many of these materials are available for free or for a nominal fee from local service providers and other organizations.

Employers should incorporate information about awareness of domestic violence into employee orientation programs, handbooks, or intranet-based human resources information. For the best effect, educational and awareness programs on domestic violence should be intertwined with other complimentary programs. Employee wellness fairs, workplace safety programs, and family issues seminars are effective venues for sharing information about intimate partner violence.

5) Enlist employees' help to ensure a violence-free zone.

Employees should know that they will not be penalized for seeking help for themselves, their families, or co-workers. In conjunction with the human resources department and EAP (if applicable), employers should offer resources for victims of intimate partner violence and abusers. Employees should be educated regarding security procedures to keep themselves and others safe in the workplace, including how to avoid inadvertently giving batterers access to victims and where to go to report a potential threat. Employees should receive information on how to recognize the signs of a troublesome or abusive relationship and know where to turn for assistance for themselves or for co-workers.

A 2001 study found that perpetrators of deadly domestic violence had several common characteristics, including extreme jealousy and possessiveness, stalking, and hitting victims at least once before the death occurred. All of these abusers had been violent with a previous partner. In this study, everyone who was close to the victims and perpetrators knew that something was wrong in the relationships but did not intervene. Employers must work with victims to develop an individualized workplace safety plan without making assistance contingent on any action by the abused person (e.g., leaving the batterer).

For additional employee education, employers can invite local resource groups, such as local shelters, counseling groups, or law enforcement agencies, to provide speakers for company programs. Most local groups are happy to provide speakers and information. Companies should empower employees to take a stand—as caring co-workers and as the company’s ambassadors. Interested employees can form a communications task force that works within the guidelines established by the cross-functional steering committee to implement a communications plan.

6) Broaden communications to include the community, important stakeholders in the company’s industry, and other organizations.

Employers can spread the word and encourage other companies to participate by communicating the message to key external stakeholders, including local and trade media, community and trade organizations, customers, suppliers, shareholders, and government officials. Networking with other employers to share case studies and best practices strengthens the employer’s program and provides a forum to provide assistance to other employers that may be interested in addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue.

Whether individually or in groups, these employers are committed to reaching out to the community to engage local service providers in training their staff or EAP members. They also engage employees in volunteer activities for service providers. They partner with service agencies for events, such as medical fairs, employee-wellness fairs, and community projects, and conduct drives to collect clothes, toys, furniture, or money for a local domestic violence program or shelter.

Employers who take on the challenge of addressing intimate partner violence as a workplace issue are true leaders. They are choosing enlightened self-interest in an effort to save lives—and change society.

As a survivor of intimate partner violence shared with me, ‘‘Were it not for my company’s program on intimate partner violence, not only would I probably not have a job, I would probably not be alive today.’’