What Are We Missing (or Why Do We Miss It?)

Perhaps you've seen the reports about the study from the University of Pennsyvania that found about 80 percent of female victims of intimate partner violence are treated in U.S. hospitals, but most are not identified as abuse victims.

The study, published online in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, found of the women treated in hospital emergency rooms, 72 percent are not identified as abuse victims, and of those who are identified, few are offered adequate support.

It is interesting because many hospitals have mandated protocols regarding domestic violence - it is also interesting because (quoting the study here) "Women who had filed a police complaint the day of treatment, had been taken to the hospital by police, had self-disclosed domestic assault, or had mental health and substance abuse issues were more likely to be identified as victims of domestic violence."

Why is that interesting to me?  Because ER staff may do what many of us tend to do..."assume" what a victim of domestic violence looks like or what they might be like.....not realizing a victim of domestic violence could really be anyone who walks into the ER.

Just like a victim could be anyone walking through our workplaces.

I remember doing a training for managers at one of our CAEPV member companies and talking about some of the potential signs a person might be a victim of domestic violence -- but then noting "Or -- the person may not show ANY of these signs....your overachieving greatest worker may be suffering from domestic violence at home."

A manager looked at me, sighed, and said (rather exasperated) "Then how am I supposed to know WHO is my victim of domestic violence?"

I said "You aren't." 

I explained that a manager wants to make sure everyone who works for him/her gets the resources and information about domestic violence to all employees.  Because you just never know who may be a victim.


So - why does the ER "miss" domestic violence?  Why does the workplace miss it?

I think we "miss it" because we "want to find our victim".....we want to think we "know" what a person who commits domestic violence looks like...or what a person who lives through domestic violence looks like.

But we don't.

So I think I understand why (protocols aside), emergency room staff struggle just like we all do.  We miss it because we think "it can't be that person." (Even if we don't consciously think it.)

It is a good lesson to learn - by assuming who is NOT a victim, we may not give information, or ask a question that may save a life.  Not only at a hospital, or a doctor's office....but at a workplace, a school, a community of faith, a family....anywhere.

Domestic Violence Costs Australia $13 Billion A Year

So -- what does domestic violence cost?

A new national report from Australia has put a figure on the economic cost of domestic violence and has found abusive relationships have a significant impact on a woman's financial security in that country.

Researchers, including Dr. Rachelle Braaf from the University of New South Wales, interviewed both victims of violence and service providers. Dr. Braaf says domestic abuse costs the Australian economy more than $13 billion a year.

"It is a huge cost to the Australian economy - not only in responding directly to domestic violence, but also to things like the impact on work and productivity, impact on the healthcare system, impact on the legal system and so on," she said.

The study also found domestic violence has a significant impact on a woman's financial security, both during and after the relationship. It found the decision to stay or leave an abusive relationship is, for many women, affected by financial factors.

The research shows money issues are usually either the trigger or the obstacle to leaving, with many women finding men in control of their finances or impeding their ability to work. Financial difficulties also impact on a woman's recovery from abuse, with ongoing legal issues, costly child care and dealing with debts incurred by their partners.

"What we were trying to do was to investigate whether financial issues were playing a bigger role than previously suspected in terms of women's safety and their ability to recover from the abuse, and the research has definitely shown that that is the case," Dr. Braaf said.

"Primarily we wanted people to understand that there is that strong link between domestic violence and women's financial outcomes."

The report recommends governments and financial institutions help fund special products such as low-interest loans for victims of domestic violence and that employers establish more supportive workplace arrangements.

Not only does this study show that domestic violence is not just a "private matter" impacting only the lives of those involved, but it shows the importance of programs like those within workplaces of CAEPV member companies.

It also shows the importance of programs like the Allstate Foundation's financial literacy program (I really encourage you to visit this site -- you'll be amazed at the curriculum they provide...and inspired by the videos!)  The Allstate Foundation supports survivors through resources targeted to build financial independence  -- and educates the public on how hard it is for people to leave an abusive relationship without economic resources.

For more information on the costs of domestic violence in terms of the workplace, productivity, healthcare, etc, visit the FACTS AND STATS section of the CAEPV website.

While I would never measure the cost of domestic violence in terms of dollars alone...it is important for us to understand that whether we know it or not, it impacts us all.  Perhaps seeing it in terms of dollars and cents will make it more real for some.

ALLSTATE FOUNDATION VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS WORK TO END DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The Allstate Foundation is proud of the passion that Allstate employees and agents have for serving their communities. Now you can help support it, too.

Once again one of Allstate’s YouTube videos highlighting the Foundation’s work to end domestic violence is competing for an award. The video features the important work that an Allstate Agent and domestic violence advocate are doing to build the financial empowerment of domestic violence survivors. Help this video secure a spot in the top ten for the second year in a row.

Click here to view and vote for their video.

The Boston College Center for Corporate Citizenship is where leading corporate citizens go to stay ahead of the curve – and The Allstate Foundation is honored that their video is being showcased in their contest. Public voting will narrow down the videos candidates to the top ten between now and March 10. Then, public voting closes and Boston College membership will select the winner.

The Allstate Foundation needs your help to get into the top ten! They ask that you encourage your networks to vote too at www.bcccc.net/index.cfm?pageId=2244

Blindsided

Last night we were driving home from doing errands and getting groceries and we saw it....a car run a red light and slam into another car.

I'm sure the person who had the green had no idea what was coming - you don't expect that you have to look out for people running red lights when you are proceeding down the road with a "full on" green light.

The driver who was hit was pretty "shocked" -- he didn't seem hurt (thank goodness) but he just seemed...well blindsided.  He just did not expect to get hit out of nowhere.  He was just driving along obeying the traffic rules and suddenly out of nowhere he was t-boned, swung around, and turned the wrong way on a one-way street with a damaged vehicle.

After we made sure both drivers were ok, called 911, talked to the police, and went on our way, my husband and I were talking about how no one expects to get hit like that. 

In a lot of accidents...you kind of see it coming....you kind of know you are going to get in an accident....but not when you are blindsided.

It made me think about domestic violence.

No one goes into a relationship expecting to be abused.  No one loves a person, has a person say they love them back....expecting to be hit, or verbally abused, or called ugly names...

By the time that happens....I think a person is blindsided.  A lot like the guy in the car accident last night.  They were going on in life, expecting to be safe and secure and loved in a relationship...and instead they were blindsided.

I noticed this morning when I was driving to work that I was looking around corners for cars that might "blindside" me...I don't usually do that.  I'm careful...but I usually expect that most drivers will obey the traffic laws.

I don't expect to be blindsided.

No one should.

Not when we're driving.  And not when we're in relationships with people who are supposed to love us.



 

"When You Solve Million Dollar Problems Every Day For A Living..."

“WHEN YOU SOLVE MILLION DOLLAR PROBLEMS EVERY DAY FOR A LIVING, WHEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR PARTNER ABUSING YOU, YOU FIGURE YOU CAN SOLVE THAT PROBLEM, TOO. THE TROUBLE IS, YOU CAN’T, BECAUSE YOU DID NOT MAKE THE PERSON START HITTING YOU, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP.” (Senior Human Resources Executive, Fortune 500 Company)


 The above quote is from a woman working at a company that is a member of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV). She told me the hardest thing she ever did was walk down the hall to ask for help from someone who worked for her.

Because she was supposed to be the smart, professional educated one…not the one being abused and asking for help.

So how does domestic violence impact the workplace? Here’s some insight from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

• In February of 2008, the CDC released the most comprehensive US survey regarding intimate partner violence - 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men reported at least one lifetime episode of intimate-partner violence.

• According to the CDC, intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work a year—the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of the violence.

• The cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work).

And some additional insights into productivity losses:

• Researchers from the University of Arkansas found that women who were victims of recent domestic violence had 26 percent more time lost to tardiness and absenteeism than non-victims.

If you think that this does not happen to people who work, think again. The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence did a national survey of full-time employed adults, and found the following: 

• 21% of the full-time employed adults polled identified themselves as victims of domestic violence; 64% percent of them indicated their ability to work was significantly impacted

• 31% of co-workers felt obliged to cover for a co-worker who as a victim; 38% of co-workers were concerned for their own safety

What about abusers? The Maine Department of Labor found that:

• 78% of surveyed perpetrators used workplace resources to express remorse or anger, check up on, pressure, or threaten their victim

• 74% had easy access to their intimate partner’s workplace

• 21% of offenders reported they contacted the victim at the workplace

And why is it that victims don’t just leave?

• In cases of homicide related to domestic violence; 75% of the time it is when the victim is leaving or has left the abuser. This means leaving is potentially VERY dangerous for a victim—a victim who may be your employee.

What about workplace safety?

• Domestic violence coming to the workplace accounts for 24% of workplace violence incidents (BLS, October 2006)

So why should employers care about this? If you haven’t already gotten the sense (and there is more information available in the Facts and Stats section of the CAEPV website):

• It is an absenteeism issue
• It is a productivity issue
• It is a turnover issue
• It is a presenteeism issue (this means you are present, but not really focused and able to work)
• It is a workplace safety issue

And who in your workplace is potentially impacted by domestic violence coming to work?

• Victim
• Abusive person
• Co-worker
• Manager
• Family member

So what can an employer do?

Here are the "six steps" that we suggest at the Corporate Alliance for creating a successful domestic violence in the workplace policy. You can find an entire downloadable document on these six steps on our website at http://www.caepv.org/ in our Take Action/Starting a Workplace Program Section.

1) Organize a multi-disciplinary team to oversee the process.
A multidisciplinary team allows the stakeholders in different areas of the company to plan for program implementation in a way that works best for the organization. The stakeholder group should establish a realistic action plan and timeline for implementing the program. Areas that should be represented on the team include professionals from the following areas: human resources; health and medical; legal; security; internal communications; public or media relations or consumer affairs; community outreach; employee assistance programs (EAPs); and unions.

A key component to the success of a workplace program is a commitment from the uppermost levels of the organization. To give the team legitimacy, it is optimal to have the chief executive officer (CEO) or president appoint its members. In this first step, employers may want to consider surveying employees regarding issues of workplace safety, including intimate partner violence. This approach allows the multidisciplinary team to have a baseline level regarding employee awareness of all workplace safety issues.

2) Develop a workplace policy addressing intimate partner violence.


The CAEPV sample policy (available on our website) includes the issue of intimate partner violence in a more comprehensive policy on workplace safety. This fact does not mean that a company cannot have a separate policy on domestic violence as a workplace issue. For example, CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne Inc. has two distinct policies; however, the inclusion of intimate partner violence within a comprehensive policy may streamline the process for many companies.

The multidisciplinary team should review existing policies and procedures to determine which policy covers the issue of intimate partner violence. Examples of such policies include family friendly benefits, such as flexible leave time that can be used to attend court or go to counseling. The policy should allow supervisors and human resources professionals to offer paid time off, flexible hours, or new shifts to victims so that the victims can avoid or flee their batterers, seek social service assistance, or deal with legal matters. Policies should emphasize that no violence or threats of violence should take place on workplace grounds or while an employee is on duty or acting in the interests of the employer, and they should spell out potential consequences of such actions.

This approach holds true whether the person making the threat is to a co-worker, vendor, or intimate partner at home. It allows companies to discipline abusive employees who are violent or who threaten violence, including those who use workplace phones, faxes, or e-mail or other resources to harass their intimate partners.

State and municipal laws vary greatly with reference to intimate partner violence and workplace issues such as unemployment insurance and nondiscrimination laws. Companies should work directly with their legal departments to develop policies and programs. They can access up-to-date information on legislation regarding intimate partner violence and unemployment insurance, leave for victims of domestic violence, nondiscrimination laws, domestic violence policies, and workplace restraining orders at the Legal Momentum website (www.legalmomentum.org ).

The focus of workplace policies and plans should be safety issues for the workplace and for the victim. Keep in mind that a workplace policy and program is only as good as the internal culture that supports it. Companies must create a workplace in which victimized employees believe that they will get help and will not be fired or discriminated against for sharing this information with a supervisor or manager. The same must be true for batterers who voluntarily seek help through workplace resources.

3) Provide training - "Recognize, Respond and Refer”.

A series of departments within each organization should be trained; first and foremost, all members of the interdisciplinary team should receive training. This training includes awareness and general knowledge of intimate partner violence and familiarity with the company’s policies and protocols in handling such cases. Specific protocols include determining who brings the team together when a case comes up and how cases are reviewed. This training must take place before any internal publicity about the policy or program.

Members of the security team should be trained to perform threat assessments; help create individual workplace safety plans; and assist victims of intimate partner violence by providing escorts to and from the office, securing parking and work spaces, screening calls, and providing other services. In some states, employers can apply for orders of protection on behalf of victimized employees.

The goal is to train managers to recognize—to be aware of signs of violence for potential victims and perpetrators, and local domestic violence service providers often can assist with this training at little or no cost. Because managers are not in a position to address domestic violence as a separate issue unless the employee self-discloses the problem, managers should understand how to respond—to appropriately address changes in behavior that is affecting performance. Finally, managers should learn to whom to refer—whom to call internally and externally if such a situation arises. (There is actually a fourth “R” if a workplace gets really good—reach out—partner with the community and other employers.)

Training should include issues of privacy and confidentiality. In some companies, information regarding a domestic violence situation is kept separately from the regular employee file to protect the confidentiality of the victim. Company representatives should not give personal advice or counseling (unless they are part of an in-house EAP)—this type of help should be left to the experts. Explanations of items, such as protective orders and how to enforce them under local law, are helpful. Training should outline what actions are appropriate and what referrals are available. Policies and protocols are guidelines, however, and there are not always black and white correct answers. Many incidents have to be handled on a case-by-case basis.

Employee education should include an understanding of intimate partner violence, possible warning signs, and how to respond sensitively and confidentially when victimized employees are identified. Employees should learn how to communicate with a victim or a perpetrator. As in the case of managers, coworkers are not counselors, but are facilitators for helping co-workers.


4) Build awareness through workplace communications.

Employers can use newsletters, payroll stuffers, e-mail, intranet sites, posters, and brochures to provide ongoing information to employees. Many of these materials are available for free or for a nominal fee from local service providers and other organizations.

Employers should incorporate information about awareness of domestic violence into employee orientation programs, handbooks, or intranet-based human resources information. For the best effect, educational and awareness programs on domestic violence should be intertwined with other complimentary programs. Employee wellness fairs, workplace safety programs, and family issues seminars are effective venues for sharing information about intimate partner violence.

5) Enlist employees' help to ensure a violence-free zone.

Employees should know that they will not be penalized for seeking help for themselves, their families, or co-workers. In conjunction with the human resources department and EAP (if applicable), employers should offer resources for victims of intimate partner violence and abusers. Employees should be educated regarding security procedures to keep themselves and others safe in the workplace, including how to avoid inadvertently giving batterers access to victims and where to go to report a potential threat. Employees should receive information on how to recognize the signs of a troublesome or abusive relationship and know where to turn for assistance for themselves or for co-workers.

A 2001 study found that perpetrators of deadly domestic violence had several common characteristics, including extreme jealousy and possessiveness, stalking, and hitting victims at least once before the death occurred. All of these abusers had been violent with a previous partner. In this study, everyone who was close to the victims and perpetrators knew that something was wrong in the relationships but did not intervene. Employers must work with victims to develop an individualized workplace safety plan without making assistance contingent on any action by the abused person (e.g., leaving the batterer).

For additional employee education, employers can invite local resource groups, such as local shelters, counseling groups, or law enforcement agencies, to provide speakers for company programs. Most local groups are happy to provide speakers and information. Companies should empower employees to take a stand—as caring co-workers and as the company’s ambassadors. Interested employees can form a communications task force that works within the guidelines established by the cross-functional steering committee to implement a communications plan.

6) Broaden communications to include the community, important stakeholders in the company’s industry, and other organizations.

Employers can spread the word and encourage other companies to participate by communicating the message to key external stakeholders, including local and trade media, community and trade organizations, customers, suppliers, shareholders, and government officials. Networking with other employers to share case studies and best practices strengthens the employer’s program and provides a forum to provide assistance to other employers that may be interested in addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue.

Whether individually or in groups, these employers are committed to reaching out to the community to engage local service providers in training their staff or EAP members. They also engage employees in volunteer activities for service providers. They partner with service agencies for events, such as medical fairs, employee-wellness fairs, and community projects, and conduct drives to collect clothes, toys, furniture, or money for a local domestic violence program or shelter.

Employers who take on the challenge of addressing intimate partner violence as a workplace issue are true leaders. They are choosing enlightened self-interest in an effort to save lives—and change society.

As a survivor of intimate partner violence shared with me, ‘‘Were it not for my company’s program on intimate partner violence, not only would I probably not have a job, I would probably not be alive today.’’

Who Are You Rooting For on Superbowl Sunday?

Who are you rooting for on Superbowl Sunday?

If you know me, you know I'm a Bears fan...so clearly my team isn't going to the Superbowl. A part of me is rooting for the Packers, even though they are sworn enemies of the Bears, since they are the NFC champs.

So...why am I writing about the Superbowl in this blog about domestic violence and the workplace?  Because there's a young man named Will Gay who plays for the Steelers -- and I'm rooting for him on Sunday.

Why am I rooting for Will? 

Take a look at the vignette below that he taped for The Women's Center & Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh on the tragic death of his mother at the hands of her husband. It is a heartbreaking story and shows the effects domestic violence had on his life.

Will is a hero for speaking out for all the children who can't.  Will is a hero for talking about his experiences when so many others cannot.

I am sure his mother is proud of him every day. 

I am rooting for Will.  Not only on Superbowl Sunday but everyday. And for everyone like Will who makes it.

PRUDENTIAL FINANCIAL, INC. JOINS THE CORPORATE ALLIANCE TO END PARTNER VIOLENCE

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) is pleased to announce that Prudential Financial, Inc. has joined its membership. CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells said, "We are so pleased to have one of the world’s financial services leaders as a member of the Corporate Alliance.”

Prudential Financial, Inc. (NYSE: PRU), a financial services leader, has operations in the United States, Asia, Europe, and Latin America. Prudential’s diverse and talented employees are committed to helping individual and institutional customers grow and protect their wealth through a variety of products and services, including life insurance, annuities, retirement-related services, mutual funds, investment management, and real estate services. In the U.S., Prudential’s iconic Rock symbol has stood for strength, stability, expertise and innovation for more than a century. For more information, please visit http://www.news.prudential.com .

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is a leading force in the fight against intimate partner violence and its effects on the workplace. It is the only national organization of its kind founded by business leaders and focused on the workplace. Since 1995, the Alliance has brought together dozens of progressive companies who exchange information, collaborate on projects, and use their influence to instigate change. The Alliance offers extensive research, policy knowledge and issue expertise to the business community, including training, program guidance, and crisis consultation – with programs designed to make the workplace safe and to prevent intimate partner violence from impacting the workplace. CAEPV has member and associate organizations reaching employees across the US and around the world.  For more information, please visit http://www.caepv.org/.

Selected corporate members include Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital, Allstate Insurance Company, American Express, Aon Hewitt, ADM, Avon Products, Inc., Blue Shield of California Foundation, CIGNA, Chestnut Global Partners, COUNTRY Financial, Eastman Kodak, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, Health Care Service Corporation – Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Illinois, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas, Kaiser Permanente, Lifetime Television, Liz Claiborne Inc., Mary Kay Inc., Prudential Financial, Inc., Rutgers University, State Farm Insurance Companies, Verizon Communications, Verizon Wireless, The Wireless Foundation, and The World Bank Group.

Internationally, the Corporate Alliance Against Domestic Violence UK and the Hurriyet Media Group are CAEPV members.

We look forward to working with Prudential and it's employees!

What Do You Leave At The Door When You Walk Into Work?

Well, I haven't written a post since mid-December...and that's very unusual for me. Right now I am typing with one hand because I fractured my elbow and had surgery - so I've been a bit out of it for a while.

Today is my first day back - and I am certainly not leaving my problem with my elbow at the door - that would be impossible to do. It affects how I feel, how I do my work, how well I concentrate....and it certainly impacts those around me who need things from me.

But this is just a fractured elbow. And I don't have to hide WHY I fractured it....and I am not afraid to go home at night.

What about when a person is dealing with domestic violence? As I often say, that does not stay at the door when a person goes to work, either. 

The costs at work?  Here are just a few:

• A 2005 national telephone survey by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) found that 21% of full-time employed adults were victims of domestic violence and 64% of them indicated their work performance was significantly impacted.
• In February of 2008, the CDC released the most comprehensive US survey regarding intimate partner violence – 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men reported at least one lifetime episode of intimate-partner violence.
• According to the CDC, intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work a year—the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of the violence.
• The cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work).
• Domestic violence coming to the workplace accounts for 24% of workplace violence incidents (Bureau of Labor Statistics, October 2006)
• The annual cost of lost productivity due to domestic violence is estimated as $727.8 million, with over 7.9 million paid workdays lost each year.
• The costs of intimate partner violence exceed $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health care services, xii much of which is paid for by the employer.

Fortunately we have resources to help enlightened employers at www.caepv.org.
 
What do you leave at the door when you walk into work? For victims of domestic violence, unfortunately they can no more leave the impact of abuse at home than I can this unusable arm.
 
That's clear to me - what about you?

Domestic Violence and the Holidays - What Do You Say?

So -- it's the holidays and you will be around family and friends that you may not usually see. And what if you see something that you are concerned about? What if you think someone you care about may not be in a safe relationship?

Here is the big difficult question:"What do you say to someone if you are concerned that they may be in an abusive relationship?"

Here is one pretty good way that I've found to talk with someone -- granted this is my style and everyone has a different style, but it goes something like this:

"You know I really care a lot about you. I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately, and that (and you would fill in here the other things you've noticed -- like that the person seems afraid of their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, has unexplained injuries, seems isolated, etc.). I would rather be wrong or have you mad at me for asking than ever have anything bad happen to you so I just have to check in with you and ask -- are you safe in your relationship?"

Because really, if you think about it, that is the point, isn't it? You WOULD rather be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable asking, or be wrong rather than have something bad happen to a friend of yours and not say something.

And -- so what if your friend tells you that he or she is fine?

Then say: "Hey, that is great. But if you ever decide you aren't ok, I want you to know my door is always open." And you may also want to add, "And if you were ever concerned that I was not safe, I would hope you would ask me the same question, right?"

Because the point is, if we really have one another's backs, we should be able to ask each other these questions. And then if you can, you may want to check in again with your family member or friend again in a few weeks just to see how things are going.

People don't always tell you right away when they are in a relationship that is not safe or good for them. It takes time and it is not easy.

For help or assistance anytime, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or check out http://www.thehotline.org. Or for teens, check out the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline -- on the web at http://www.loveisrespect.org or at 1-866-331-9474.

It never hurts to ask -- and it may help change or save the life of someone you care about.

(And survivors....any comments or additional suggestions you have are most welcome! You know best what is helpful!)

DECEMBER 8 IS 7TH ANNUAL "IT'S TIME TO TALK DAY" - TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is participating in Liz Claiborne Inc’s 7th annual It’s Time to Talk Day, a day dedicated to ensuring that Americans speak-up about a subject that most people simply prefer not to discuss — domestic violence.  On December 8^th Kim Wells will be on “Radio Row” talking about domestic violence at Liz Claiborne headquarters in New York City. For more information visit www.loveisnotabuse.com.

As Liz Claiborne CEO Bill McComb said during the kick off of It's Time to Talk Day at a special screening of "Telling Amy's Story" on December 7, just take a moment to talk to someone about domestic violence/dating violence and share something you've learned.  You could save a life.

Let's talk on December 8 - and keep on talking!

CAEPV RECEIVES $30,000 DONATION FROM HOPELINE FROM VERIZON TO ADDRESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS WORKPLACE ISSUE

I usually share something cool that happens to another organization courtesy of the companies that we work with here at the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV).  Today I am writing about a wonderful contribution we received to further our work to make domestic violence "Everybody's Business."

On November 30, 2010, Verizon Wireless announced that the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) is receiving a $30,000 donation from HopeLine® from Verizon, aiding CAEPV in its mission to help businesses address the impact of domestic violence in the workplace. 

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8 million days of paid work a year, the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs, and the cost of domestic violence to the U.S. economy is more than $8.3 billion. A 2005 national telephone survey by CAEPV found that 21 percent of full-time employed adults were victims of domestic violence and 64 percent of them indicated their work performance was significantly impacted.

The HopeLine from Verizon donation will help CAEPV fund educational programs and webinars that help increase employer awareness of domestic violence as a workplace issue and offer strategies for how employers can recognize and respond to this issue.

"Domestic violence can affect people of all backgrounds in all aspects of their lives, including the workplace," said Elva Lima, executive director of community relations for Verizon Wireless. "We're honored to partner with organizations like CAEPV that are working to increase awareness of domestic violence outside the home and providing much needed tools and resources to help reduce partner violence."

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is a national nonprofit organization dedicated to reducing the costs and consequences of partner violence at work – and eliminating it altogether. From policies and programs to legal issues and legislation, CAEPV is a credible source for information, materials and advice.

"We are very grateful to receive this donation from Verizon Wireless and for their ongoing dedication to preventing domestic violence both within the workplace and in communities," said Kim Wells, executive director of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence. "Domestic violence doesn't stop at the door when employees go to work, and the HopeLine donation allows us to further raise awareness and help workplaces manage this issue."

The long-running HopeLine program puts the nation's most reliable wireless network to work in the community by turning no-longer-used wireless phones into support for those affected by domestic violence. Proceeds from the HopeLine program are used to provide wireless phones and airtime to victims of domestic violence and cash grants to local shelters and nonprofit organizations that focus on domestic violence prevention, awareness and advocacy. Learn more about HopeLine at www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnkDUsmkQlk. 

For more information on HopeLine from Verizon, visit www.verizonwireless.com/hopeline. To learn more about CAEPV, visit www.caepv.org. 

We are so excited to be able to invest these funds in changing the landscape of society by addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue.  More to come!

LIZ CLAIBORNE'S "IT'S TIME TO TALK DAY" TAKES PLACE DECEMBER 8, 2010

CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne Inc. and it’s partners have been joining forces for It's Time to Talk Day annually as a way to encourage greater public dialogue about domestic violence. The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is proud to be one of those partners.

Liz Claiborne Inc. created It’s Time to Talk Day to draw major national attention to the importance of talking about domestic violence, teen dating violence and intimate partner abuse.

This year, they are continuing their very successful partnership with Talk Radio News Service by sponsoring their annual “Talk Radio Row on Domestic Violence” at Liz Claiborne Inc. headquarters in New York City.

Around the country, talk radio, government officials, domestic violence advocates, businesses, schools and the public-at-large take a moment - or more - to talk openly about an issue that affects nearly one in three women at some point in their lifetime. In fact, millions of talk radio listeners around the country were reached with the message since the inception of It’s Time to Talk Day in 2004.

Leading national and local talk radio hosts will once again conduct back-to-back interviews with guests on various domestic violence issues throughout the entire day.

Partners for 2010 include Seventeen, the National Foundation for Women Legislators (NFWL), MTV’s digital abuse campaign “A Thin Line,” Love is Louder, Verizon Foundation and Mariska Hargitay’s Joyful Heart Foundation -- joining domestic violence advocates and experts, attorneys general, local, state and federal legislators, celebrities, corporate and government leaders, parents and teens on air to talk about what we can do to end domestic violence and teen dating abuse, how we can get involved in prevention, and how and where victims can get help.

Radio Row will begin at morning drive time, 5 a.m., and will end about 7 p.m. EST. Every hour, a group of different featured guests will be interviewed by the talk radio hosts on the air at that time.

You can make a difference by hosting an It's Time to Talk Day event in your community. For the past several years cities and organizations from around the country held various programs to raise awareness of the issue. Programs and events have ranged from big, organized efforts such as press conferences, walks and vigils, to creative projects such as plays, and lastly educational efforts were made to devote this day to teaching the curriculum at local schools. For event ideas for your community, click here.

"Just Save One Life...Just One."

"Just save one life...just one."  Deidri Fishel

That quote really struck me and stuck with me.

It is from the "Telling Amy's Story" Leadership Video that you can find at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo3ODIuLOJQ.  Detective Fishel is talking about what we can all do to make a difference in the lives of a domestic violence victim..ultimately perhaps saving a life.

Isn't it worth it? Saving a life?

And what if your workplace policies could make a difference?  I mean, more than what it would save you in productivity, in employee turnover, in absenteeism...more than the prevention of a potential workplace violence incident on your property? 

I can certainly convince you of all of those reasons...and the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence can provide you the resources and training and practices you need to help your workplace for all of those reasons. That is what we do.

What does saving a life mean to you? If you could do it through your workplace policies and programs...would you? Visit http://www.caepv.org  to learn more.

New Resource for Employers Introduced During Domestic Violence Awareness Month

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is pleased to partner with the Family Violence Prevention Fund, Office on Violence Against Women, Legal Momentum, Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape and its National Sexual Violence Resource Center, Resource Sharing Project of the Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault, American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence, and Victim Rights Law Center in the creation of this new resource for employers:

http://www.workplacesrespond.org

This was among the initiatives introduced October 27, 2010 at the White House Domestic Violence Awareness Month Event which I was fortunate enough to attend.  (But that's a blog for another day!)

Check it out!

What Are YOU Doing For Domestic Violence Awareness Month? (Or…Where Is All The Purple?)

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I realize it is also a month to recognize a lot of other really important issues -- most notably breast cancer. But while you see a lot of "pink" around, do you see a lot of "purple"? (Purple is the color that represents domestic violence awareness in the same way that pink represents breast cancer awareness.)

I have seen pink mixers, pink bras, pink baseball bats, pink shoes. . . you name it. But why not purple?

I have some guesses.

A long time ago, no one talked about breast cancer -- they kept it a secret, and somehow it was a "shame" and was somehow the fault of the person who received the diagnosis. But fortunately that has changed, and we no longer blame breast cancer victims. We call them survivors. And we honor them for their amazing courage. And we should.

Now -- with domestic violence, we are not exactly there. We are uncomfortable with it because we are not really sure what "causes" it, whose "fault" it is, what we should do about it, or how to even say something to someone. I don't know all the reasons. I just know this -- it is highly uncomfortable for us.

But put all that aside for a moment. I think we can all agree that the one place everyone should be safe and secure is in their own homes where they should feel loved and cherished. And I think we can all learn a bit about how to be healthier in our own relationships (which is also a source of discomfort for us, I think) and also learn how to recognize if someone is in a relationship that is perhaps not as healthy or safe as it could be.

I am not sure it "matters" that I "get" everything about someone else's relationship-- I am really clear that no one deserves to be hit. Or slapped. Or to have things thrown at them. Or to be intimidated. Or for their children to be afraid.

Maybe for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it would be good if we could all do what 33 organizations and businesses in Central Illinois did on October 5 and asked people just learn to talk about this -- not argue about it, not decide if it is a "men's thing" or a "women's thing" but just realize it is a thing that impacts everyone.

On October 5, some of those people wore purple.  One of them told me she wore purple and asked people if they knew why she was wearing that color. If they didn't, she started a conversation with them about it.  Isn't that great?

Spread the purple!!!!

10 Things You Can Do About Domestic Violence

As we begin October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, people have been asking me "What can I do about domestic violence? Is there something I can do to help?" Here is a short list of ideas. Certainly you can add your ideas or additions at the end:


1) Sign the MADE petition to get dating violence curriculum in schools. Go to http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/made


2) Find out more about domestic violence. Go to http://www.clicktoempower.org/  and see the stories of survivors and what made the difference for them.


3) Go to http://www.etsy.com/listing/57724099/hotline-necklace or http://www.etsy.com/listing/57722070/hotline-earrings?ref=v1_other_2 and support the National Domestic Violence Hotline by purchasing these pieces by Sueanne Shirzay.


4) Learn about how domestic violence impacts your workplace by visiting http://www.caepv.org/.


5) Remember the National Domestic Violence Hotline Number: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or http://www.thehotline.org/. You can call to help others or yourself.


6) Donate your old cell phone (any brand) at any Verizon Wireless store or use free mailing label www.verizonwireless.com/hopelinemailinglabel. Or if you are a Verizon Wireless customer text "HOPE" to 41010 to make a one time, $10 donation to the National Network to End Domestic Violence.


7) Learn to talk to your kids about healthy relationships by downloading tip booklets from http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/.


8) Try to understand what happens in DV and how it impacts people. Check out http://www.domesticviolenceworkplace.blogspot.com/. And comment!


9) Don't ask "Why would that victim go back?" ask "Why would a person hit or abuse someone they love?"


10) Be safe, healthy and happy in your own relationships. Because you matter. And you deserve it. And you are very, very precious.

Allstate Foundation's "Tell A Gal Pal" Raises Awareness Of Domestic Violence And Supports Survivors - and You Can Too!

Did you know that more than seven out of 10 Americans know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence, yet it still remains a taboo subject? A recent study found that only 54 percent of Americans have talked to a friend about domestic violence, and only 56 percent know how to help a victim.*

Professional dancer, Cheryl Burke of "Dancing with the Stars" and Judge Jeanine Pirro of the "Judge Pirro Show" are teaming up with The Allstate Foundation to encourage everyone to Tell a Gal Pal and break down the barriers as a part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October and beyond.

Download the Cheryl Burke and Judge Jeanine Pirro public service announcements and learn more about the campaign.

"Domestic violence can happen to anyone – it happened to me. I'm using my experience to let survivors know that they're not alone, it's not their fault, and be proof that you can survive – and most importantly thrive in a better future," said Cheryl Burke. "By telling a gal pal about domestic violence – we're educating one another on the issue to erase misconceptions and provide the right support to those in need."

Domestic violence is an issue that does not discriminate – it impacts all genders, races and ages. The Tell a Gal Pal movement asks everyone to face domestic violence together by:


• Talking openly about domestic violence to break the taboo. Tell your Gal Pals – whether it's your best friend, sister, mother, daughter, niece, cousin or neighbor – to face domestic violence by discussing the issue, educating one another and showing support for survivors.

• Visiting ClicktoEmpower.org for easy ways to start the conversation, learn more about the resources available for those in need or read inspirational survivor stories.

• Speaking out against domestic violence when you see it. Call the police or National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) to report domestic violence – you could help save a life.

• Volunteering at or donating items to a local domestic violence program. Contact your state domestic violence coalition for more information.


Tell a Gal Pal this year will feature another new gal pal, Judge Jeanine Pirro. Since her time as a prosecutor, Judge Pirro has been an advocate on behalf of domestic violence victims—on her television show, in her court room, and through her partnership with the National Domestic Violence Hotline. She will bring her passion for fighting domestic violence to a Tell A Gal Pal public service announcement airing nationally this October.

"Everyone has a gal pal, a friend, a family member that they can speak to about this issue," said Jennifer Kuhn, Domestic Violence Program Manager with The Allstate Foundation. "By starting the conversation with our closest friends, we can put an end to the secrecy that too often shrouds domestic violence."

The Allstate Foundation is also encouraging Americans to join the conversation on Facebook to help support domestic violence survivors. For each person who visits the Click to Empower! Facebook page and pledges to Tell a Gal Pal about domestic violence, The Allstate Foundation will donate $1 to the National Network to End Domestic Violence (up to $20,000).

The Allstate Foundation's Domestic Violence Program helps domestic violence survivors overcome economic challenges and lead financially independent lives, free from abuse. Through a partnership with the National Network to End Domestic Violence, the program provides a network of financial resources, including a comprehensive financial empowerment curriculum; funds direct services, including education and job training assistance; and spreads the word on how to empower those touched by domestic and economic abuse. For more information and to find out how to help, visit http://www.clicktoempower.org/.


*Murphy Marketing Research, The Allstate Foundation: Crisis: Economics and Domestic Violence. June 2009.

It's Time to Talk in Central Illinois on October 5 - Log On, Look Up, Speak Out

Did you know that 1 in 5 relationships now start online? 

On Tuesday, October 5, 2010, the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, Radio Bloomington and other community organizations throughout Central Illinois are co-sponsoring "It's Time to Talk Day" to bring awareness to the important issue of domestic violence. This year the theme is "It's Time to Talk: Dating Safety & Technology - Log On, Look Up, Speak Out."

Event topics will focus on the role technology now has in our dating relationships--for tweens and adults--including staying safe online, sexting, cyberstalking, and the legal issues surrounding these topics.

Local CAEPV members and community partners will participate in "It's Time to Talk Day" in the following ways:

Local governments, universities & colleges will issue proclamations of "It's Time to Talk Day" and encourage citizens to take a moment to talk about healthy and unhealthy relationships. 

A news conference to announce "It's Time to Talk Day" will be held at 8:00AM on October 5 at Young Main Lounge in Illinois Wesleyan University's Memorial Center. 

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence and the 11th Judicial Circuit Family Violence Coordinating Council are co-sponsoring a FREE conference at Young Main Lounge in Illinois Wesleyan University's Memorial Center. This conference, "Dating Safety & Technology - Log On, Look Up, Speak Out" will look at how various technologies play a role in our dating relationships--and what we can do to stay safe and keep our relationships healthy. 

Soroptimist of Bloomington-Normal is hosting a Lunch & Learn "I'm Your Mother, Not Your Friend....Except on Facebook" for parents at Lancaster's Fine Dining in Downtown Bloomington. 

Other "It's Time to Talk Day" projects and events include:

•  Distributing educational materials in workplaces
•  Distributing domestic violence awareness brochures to clients
• Holding seminars for employees
• Providing information to employees via the Internet and Intranet
• Writing informational articles for employee newsletters
•  Working with local schools to share the message about safety and wellness
• Providing Public Service Announcements and radio interviews on Radio Bloomington stations
• Viral text and Facebook messages promoting respectful texting
• Electronic billboard messages
•  AND MORE!

 You can learn more by clicking here.   

Why Is Domestic Violence "Everybody's Business"?

We recently posted a story on our Facebook page about a person who heard her neighbors having a heated argument "screaming at each other"...she had her window opened and listened to the whole dispute that night but never called 911.

Her neighbor was killed.  Her alleged murderer was her boyfriend and a man with a history of domestic violence.  The woman who did not call said "I feel bad now that I didn't call 911. I could have prevented this."

You can read the story here.

Let's be clear - only ONE person is responsible for the murder...the person who did it.

But what is our responsibility when we see something or hear something that concerns us?  What if we see bruises on a co-worker?  What if we hear a heated argument at a neighbor's house? What if we are concerned for a child we see in a grocery store? What is OUR responsibility?

Should we walk away?  Or should we call 911?  Or somehow reach out?

We know that in the workplace, it is in an employer's "enlightened self interest" to have policies and programs and resources for employees (batterers and victims) involved in domestic violence because it impacts the workplace in terms of absenteeism, workplace productivity, healthcare costs, turnover, and workplace safety.  You can learn more about that here.

But what about in the rest of life?  In the community?  Is it in YOUR "enlightened self-interest" to make domestic violence your business?

I would say yes.  For this simple reason.

You may change -- or save -- a life.

You can read more in this blog about how to talk to someone you care about and there are links on this blog to resources.  But at the end of the day, we all have a decision to make. Will I make this "my business" or not?

I hope you do.

The Phone Call I Don't Want To Get From You

Today I am sad. 

Why am I sad? Because we received another inquiry this morning from a company about addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue...because an employee had been killed in a murder-suicide by an intimate partner.

This is not how I want to do my job.  I want to help employers with resources and tools to address domestic violence as a workplace issue BEFORE a precious life is lost....not after.   And I know that no employer wants to make this call either....if they had known, or had any idea...they would have done something proactive and preventative at the workplace.  (Granted this is no guarantee that life will not be lost, but it can certainly do a lot to raise awareness and provide more resources and tools...and can help with the safety of the workplace.)

The difficulty is this...it is very hard for employers to "see" or understand that domestic violence might be impacting their particular workplaces....until it does.  We can share statistics and warning signs and sample policies and all of the information available on our website at www.caepv.org ...but if an employer does think that is likely to impact their workforce...they won't act.

It doesn't matter what "kind" of workforce you have - or what industry - you name it, domestic violence is impacting the workforce.   Banking, retail, human services, telecommunications, insurance, healthcare, faith community, education, manufacturing.....you name it, it is there. (If you think there is a place it is not, I would love to have that discussion with you.)

So please....take a moment to consider that:

• 21% of full-time employed adults are victims of domestic violence
• 64% of them say their work was significantly impacted by the abuse
• The annual cost of lost productivity due to domestic violence is estimated as $727.8 million with over 7.9 million paid workdays lost per year
• Domestic violence coming to the workplace accounts for 24% of workplace violence incidents

You can find more statistical information at http://www.caepv.org/getinfo/facts_stats.php .

But please -- don't let one of your employees (or your workplace) be a statistic because you haven't considered what you can do proactively to address domestic violence at the workplace.

Because it can - and does -- happen anywhere. To anyone.  Including to people who work at places like yours.