This blog is about domestic violence & its impact on the workplace as well as related topics.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Telling Amy's Story - Raising Awareness of Domestic Violence
Amy was a Verizon Wireless employee, and the Verizon Foundation is a sponsor of this documentary. I think it is a wonderful tribute to her that they are honoring her memory in this way, and finding a way to reach others to share that domestic violence is, indeed "Everybody's Business."
And while the documentary cannot change the ending to Amy's story, it is the hope of those involved in making the documentary and the accompanying toolkit that telling her story can change the outcomes for the millions of victims, survivors, and loved ones affected by domestic violence everyday.
You can help in the fight to end domestic violence. SHARE this film, DISCUSS it with others, and REFER those in need to the film’s companion online toolkit at http://telling.psu.edu. If you need to know how to create a program to help create a safer workplace for employees like Amy, visit our website at http://www.caepv.org.
To find out more about Telling Amy's Story, visit http://www.facebook.com/tellingamysstory. You can view the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pt0qoqFV6g. The documentary will be available on Public Broadcasting Stations beginning June 1, 2010.
I hope you will share and learn. And I hope you will also tell Amy's story.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Fairness. Dignity. Respect.
Since April is Child Abuse Awareness Month as well as Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it seems appropriate to pause and think about these these issues in terms of crimes...and how not very long ago they were not considered crimes at all in the US. And in many countries they are not crimes at all.
Fairness. Dignity. Respect. I recently had a humbling and life-changing opportunity to meet people from 15 different countries doing amazing work to give fairness, dignity and respect and rights to victims of domestic violence, sexual violence, and human trafficking across the world. The work these people do is amazing. The obstacles they overcome are daunting. Not only do they lack resources and support for the work they do...their very lives are threatened when they do it.
I was honored to be in the same room as these heroes -- and to hear from them and learn from them what it means to give dignity and respect to people in the most dire of circumstances. (Learn more here: http://vitalvoices.org/human-rights/announcing-global-partnership-end-violence-against-women)
Fairness. Dignity. Respect. We should strive for these in our workplaces...in our homes...in our communities. And when it does not exist for others, let us work to make a world where it does.
Thank you to all of you who do so on a daily basis.
Thank you to you who create workplaces that help victims of violence, workplaces that don't tolerate bullying, workplaces that uplift employees and their gifts and abilities so that your workplaces are actually more productive and viable.
Thank you to you who are parents who create healthy and loving homes for your children. Or as educators or caretakers you create healthy and safe environments for young people.
Thank you to you who work "in the field" to give a voice to those who don't have one...or who cannot speak for themselves.
During National Crime Victims' Rights Week and beyond let us always consider Fairness. Dignity. Respect. -- not only for victims of crime.. but for everyone.
Monday, April 12, 2010
National Teen Dating Violence State Law Report Cards Released - How Did Your State Do?
The 2010 Report Cards are expanded to include information about school-based response to dating abuse as well as accessibility of other related services for teens. Each state’s report card also includes specific policy recommendations to help guide on-the-ground efforts to improve these laws.
This year, Break the Cycle updated the grading system with assistance from researchers at the University of Minnesota. Among others, some of the criteria used in grading included: can minors receive protection orders; do dating relationships qualify under the law; and, do same sex couples have access to legal protections? Break the Cycle received pro bono support from independent law firm Latham and Watkins, LLP to compile the 2009 state law statutes.
Sample of Key Findings:
• New Hampshire (A) receives the highest score because it is the only state which allows minors of any age to petition for protection orders without parental involvement.
• Arizona (B) and the District of Columbia (A) improved their laws since last year’s report. Arizona now allows people to qualify for protection orders if they are in a dating relationship with their abuser. In DC, teens as young as 12 can now petition for protection orders without parental notification.
• Ohio receives an F in the 2010 Report, but Governor Ted Strickland recently signed into law a bill mandating violence prevention education in schools and clarifying the state’s restraining order statutes, allowing minors and people in dating relationships to legally protect themselves. Changes take effect later this year and will be reflected in the 2011 Report.
• Pennsylvania (D) is considering a bill mandating violence prevention education in schools. Though not a factor in the 2010 grades, this statute could work in their favor for the 2011 report.
• Kentucky (F) has pending legislation, House Bill 30, that would allow victims of abuse in dating relationships to access protection orders. If the bill passes, Kentucky’s grade could rise to a B, based on Break the Cycle’s current metrics.
2010 State Law Report Cards Grades
• Only six states and the District of Columbia (14%) receive A’s – CA, IL, NH, OK, RI and WA
• Fifteen states (29%) receive B’s – AK, AZ, DE, FL, IN, ME, MA, MN, MS, NJ, NM, NY, TN, VT and WV
• Sixteen states (31%) receive C’s – AR, CO, CT, HI, ID, IA, KS, LA, MD, MI, MT, NE, NV, NC, TX and WY
• Four states (8%) receive D’s – ND, PA, OR and WI
• Nine states (18%) receive F’s – AL, GA, KY, MO, OH, SC, SD, UT and VA
For more information and to download a complete copy of the 2010 Teen Dating Violence State Report Cards, please visit www.breakthecycle.org.
Monday, April 05, 2010
IT’S NATIONAL CELL PHONE RECYCLING WEEK; DONATE TO HOPELINE AND HELP VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
CAEPV Member Verizon Wireless joins the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), cell phone manufacturers and other retailers in the second annual Plug-In To eCycling National Cell Phone Recycling Week. This year's activities take place from April 5-11, and Verizon Wireless encourages consumers to visit a Verizon Wireless Communications Store or to use a free mailing label available at http://aboutus.vzw.com/communityservice/HopeLineLabel.pdf to recycle their old wireless phones, batteries and accessories throughout the week.
All phone donations to Verizon Wireless support HopeLine®, the company's long-running phone recycling and reuse program that benefits victims of domestic violence and supports prevention and awareness efforts. Last April, consumers donated more than 90,000 wireless phones to HopeLine, becoming an important part of Verizon Wireless' ability to recycle more than 1 million phones through this program for the third consecutive year.
Phones given to HopeLine will be refurbished for reuse or will be disposed of in an environmentally sound way under a zero landfill policy. Thousands of the refurbished phones are distributed to domestic violence shelters to be used by victims and survivors as they create safety plans and rebuild their lives.
Since 2001, through HopeLine's efforts, more than 7 million phones have been collected and kept out of landfills, and more than 1.6 million no-longer-used wireless phones have been disposed of in an environmentally sound way. Additional proceeds from HopeLine provide financial support to non-profit domestic violence advocacy agencies across the country. To learn more about Hopeline, visit http://aboutus.vzw.com/communityservice/hopeLine.html.
Plug-In To eCycling's National Cell Phone Recycling Week 2010 is a joint effort with leading cell phone manufacturers, service providers and retailers to increase the awareness and recycling rates for cell phones. Plug-In To eCycling encourages Americans nationwide to donate or recycle their unwanted cell phones during the week of April 5-11, 2010. For additional information and to find cell phone recycling locations near you, please visit: www.epa.gov/cellphones.
Monday, March 29, 2010
It Can Happen Anywhere......
I know it can happen anywhere. That is what I try to help other people understand. And then it happened to Amy Nose. And I caught my breath.
Amy Nose worked at Taylor University in Upland, Indiana. Taylor University is a small, Christian liberal arts college. It is a very tight-knit community. Upland is a tiny, tiny place.
Amy was a victim of domestic violence in a most final way on March 25 when her estranged husband killed her in her mother's home. He later died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound.
According to the Indianapolis Star,"Authorities said the domestic problems between the couple had been ongoing for several weeks, with Amy Nose spending some time in a women's shelter. She filed for divorce on Feb. 11; that case was still pending in Grant Superior Court at the time of her death. On Wednesday night, Amy Nose filed a police report that alleged some act of intimidation by her husband." http://www.indystar.com/article/20100325/NEWS02/3250494/Two-die-after-Grant-Co.-standoff
My heart and my prayers go out to the Nose family, and to the Taylor University family - to Amy's coworkers and to the students who knew her.
If you want to know a bit about Amy, here is a piece where she is sharing with students at a Family Chapel service at Taylor in September of 2007. http://www.taylor.edu/community/news/amy-nose.shtml
I know how it can be to know everyone so well at such a small university, and I can't imagine how it must be for students and faculty and administrators to wrestle with this and wonder if there is something they could have done to help Amy...and how they will be able to help Amy's two daughters now - one of whom is a student at Taylor.
If you are wondering why this is so personal to me, and why it caught my breath, it is because I went to Taylor University. It is the "last place" in the world I would guess that someone would die from a murder-suicide...or from domestic violence.
Except.....that it can happen anywhere. And heartbreakingly, it does.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Love is respect - National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline Unveils New Interactive Teen Power And Control Wheel

Each spoke of the wheel addresses a different tactic abusers employ in order to control a partner. By clicking on each spoke of the wheel you can view the video diary of a scenario that corresponds with that description.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Vital Voices, Avon and the U.S. Department of State Hold Unprecedented Meeting on Global Issue of Violence Against Women
The Conference will host delegations from fifteen countries with delegates representing diverse sectors -- business, government, law enforcement, the NGO community, media/entertainment, academia, and others. These delegates will work together to develop country-specific, culturally-sensitive solutions for dealing with violence against women within their home countries.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
When A Boss Interferes On Behalf Of An Abuser in A Domestic Violence Situation
There are several domestic violence situations between an employee and his girlfriend. And one of these incidents has taken place in view of the workplace. And the alleged abuser is a high level, high profile employee.
What should the boss do?
(Did I mention the boss is well-known as one who takes a strong stand against domestic violence?)
Should the boss:
1) Intervene in the situation to try to get it "taken care of?"
2) Follow any applicable workplace policies?
3) Do nothing as it is none of the bosses' business? (After all, there was only one altercation that allegedly took place at or around the workplace.)
If you answered #2, you are right. The boss should follow whatever policies and protocols are appropriate for any employee of that particular workplace regarding this issue - no matter how high profile or high level this employee might be.
Unfortunately that is not always the case. And as you may have read in the news, this appears to not be the case in the situation with New York Governor Paterson and one of his aides. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/02/nyregion/02paterson.html
What makes this situation concerning for so many people is that Governor Paterson is not an ordinary boss - he is a Governor with the ability to direct State Police and other officials. He is also a boss who has taken a stand against domestic violence.
He is also a governor who has signed an Executive Order for all state agencies in New York to have policies (and training) regarding domestic violence and its impact on the workplace: http://www.opdv.state.ny.us/professionals/workplace/execorder19.html
But I see something else - I see a boss using his powers to help an alleged abuser. And it may surprise you to learn this is not new. In fact, in my work, this is not new at all. It is not uncommon for employers to bail abusers out of jail because they are "good workers" and they don't want to lose them.
In this case, the victim of abuse was actually surprised the court would hear her because of the influence of her alleged abuser http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/25/nyregion/25transcript.html?ref=nyregion
While I find this whole situation incredibly sad, and awful for the victim of domestic violence (who it appears could not even completely trust the State Police in this case), I am unfortunately not surprised.
While this individual situation needs to be dealt with as a very serious case, we also need to look at it in the broader context of what happens to many victims of domestic violence who have no where to go or no where to turn because of bosses who "help" abusers, or bosses who fire victims because they "won't get that threatening boyfriend/girlfriend to stop showing up here." We need to make sure that our workplace policies are followed. No matter who they impact. Or how high up that person is in our organization.
Because victims -- and batterers -- can be anywhere in our workplaces. And to think differently or act differently makes us all susceptible to putting victims of domestic violence in situations where they are at risk. Or batterers in a position where we "help" them continue to batter.
(If you want to know what you can do to address domestic violence as a workplace issue, I invite you to visit our website at http://www.caepv.org/)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Delaware Governor Announces New State Employee Domestic Violence Policy
Delaware’s new Domestic Violence Policy for state employees was drafted by the Human Resources Management Section of the Office of Management and Budget in conjunction with advocacy groups. It provides guidelines and procedures to assist state employees affected by domestic violence.
The state will reasonably accommodate victims needing assistance in areas such as work schedule adjustments, temporary relocations to a new office, parking space re-assignments, and security escorts. Photographs of perpetrators may be provided to security and if an employee agrees, co-workers may be advised of the situation. Each state agency shall designate an individual who may assist with domestic violence issues within that agency. Employees who are victims may choose to notify that designated individual or a supervisor. The policy is consistent with applicable federal and state law, merit rules and collective bargaining agreements. The state is encouraging employee/victims to retain any evidence of domestic violence activity, such as threatening emails, text or voice-mail messages.
Agencies instrumental in developing the policy included the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council, chaired by Senator Patricia Blevins; the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence; ContactLifeline; the Domestic Violence Task Force of the Delaware Commission for Women, the Victims’ Rights Task Force and the Delaware Center for Justice.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
NFL Players Association Joins Justice Department Effort to Raise Awareness of Violence Against Women
The NFLPA has "Joined the List," a group of more than 100 celebrities including actors, musicians and athletes, who have lent their names to raise awareness with their fans, through Web and fan sites, and social networking profiles. In addition to the NFLPA, 16 players - including New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees - have lent their names to this initiative.
The NFLPA also announced its partnership with CAEPV Member the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF), a grantee of the Justice Department's Office on Violence Against Women (OVW), on their "Callout Card" contest as part of their That's Not Cool teen initiative. The contest is designed to engage youth and invites teens to create "callout cards" that can be used to raise awareness of teen dating abuse. The contest's grand prize winner will receive a trip to Washington, D.C., to attend the NFL PLAYERS Gala, and will have a chance to walk the red carpet and meet with top NFL stars. Four runners-up will receive autographed NFL memorabilia, such as a jersey or helmet. Ten honorable mention winners will receive That's Not Cool t-shirts and NFLPA hats.
The contest, for teenagers ranging in age from 13 to 18, continues through March 15.
For more information, go to: www.thatsnotcool.com/contest.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
CAEPV Member JoyFul Heart Foundation Needs Your Vote in the Pepsi Refresh Project!
Winning the Pepsi Refresh grant would mean that Joyful Heart would be able to continue to publish the foundation’s magazine, Reunion. With it Joyful Heart is reaching thousands of survivors nationwide, bringing the joyful message of hope and healing to readers. Reunion is also creating a sense of community among survivors and those who help them on their paths to healing.
How can you help? You can vote online at refresheverything.com/votejoy to support Joyful Heart. Voting starts continues through 2/28 and you can vote once per day. It only takes 15 seconds to sign up and vote. Then, enlist your friends and family to do the same, and encourage others to vote, and keep voting for Joyful Heart.
More info available at http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/pepsirefresh.htm.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Associate Attorney General Perrelli, Senators Announce Passage of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month Resolution
Since 2004, Congress has designated the first full week in February as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week." However, this year the Justice Department worked with the Senate to designate the entire month of February as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month." This provides parity to the three other crimes included in the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) -- sexual assault, domestic violence and stalking, each of which has a designated month for public education and awareness activities.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, and approximately 10 percent of high school students have been hurt physically by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Teen dating violence often keeps students from attending or excelling in school, and puts victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, teen pregnancy, suicide and adult revictimization.
In the past decade, the use of technology by stalkers has become commonplace, complicating prevention and intervention efforts. One in four teens in a relationship say they have been harassed or put down by their partner through their cell phone and texting, and more than 60 percent of teens have been pressured to engage in "sexting." (Source: U.S. Department of Justice)
For resources and information, visit http://www.teendvmonth.org/.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Welcome to Break the Cycle - The Newest Member of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV)
At Break the Cycle, they believe everybody has the right to safe and healthy relationships—regardless of where they live, who they are or what they believe. That is why they work everyday towards their mission to engage, educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free from domestic violence.
Break the Cycle offers programs that defy geographic bounds—ensuring that no young person is excluded from receiving the help, tools and information they need to live free from violence. Our success is demonstrated by more than a decade of leadership in working with teens to prevent and end domestic and dating violence.
They are also the sponsors of the Teen Dating Violence Prevention Project to raise awareness and coordinate activities for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Learn more at http://www.teendvmonth.org/.
The Corporate Alliance shares in these wonderful values and we look forward to this new partnership with our friends at Break the Cycle!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
January is National Stalking Awareness Month -"Know It. Name It. Stop It."
Did you know that each year, more than one million women and nearly 400,000 men in the United States are victims of stalking?
This year the theme is “Stalking: Know It. Name It. Stop It.” It challenges communities (including workplaces) to combat this dangerous crime by learning more about it and taking action.
The Stalking Resource Center and the Office on Violence Against Women has launched the 2010 National Stalking Awareness Month Web site at http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/. The site offers fact sheets, media tools, brochures, posters and artwork, and much more. Check it out!
People do not always realize what "stalking" entails - your "stalker" is usually someone you know, and very often when a person is stalked at work, that indicates a "ramp up" in potential lethality. Do not "brush off" stalking. Take it seriously. . .whether it is in person or electronic. Keep records. Don't throw things away.
Often when I discuss this with people, they have not considered keeping the emails, or voice mails, or notes from the stalker as a record and they should. Do not feel silly about talking with law enforcement about this. . .and if you feel that police are brushing you off, talk to your state's attorney or district attorney.
Stalking is serious business, and laws have changed considerably across the US to protect victims.And if you are an employer, do not take "workplace stalking" lightly. A person being followed and called at work is a person in potential danger. And so is the rest of your workplace. Seek assistance.
And http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/ is a great place to start.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Jane Randel of Liz Claiborne Inc. Featured As "Get Inspired! Project" Day 84 Interview
Her interview is Day 84 (Wednesday, December 23, 2009) and appears at http://www.getinspiredproject.com/.
Jane is one of the most inspiring people I know – and I know you will be inspired by her interview!
(I was honored to be interviewed on Day 63 of this project. What inspires me is all of our CAEPV members and everyone so dedicated to this issue... and especially the amazing survivors whose stories never cease to keep me going! To hear or read the interview, click here.)
Friday, December 18, 2009
Domestic Violence and the Holidays: What Do You Say?
So -- it's the holidays and you will be around family and friends that you may not usually see. And what if you see something that you are concerned about? What if you think someone you care about may not be in a safe relationship?
Here is the big difficult question:"What do you say to someone if you are concerned that they may be in an abusive relationship?"
Here is one pretty good way that I've found to talk with someone -- granted this is my style and everyone has a different style, but it goes something like this: "You know I really care a lot about you. I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately, and that (and you would fill in here the other things you've noticed -- like that the person seems afraid of their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, has unexplained injuries, seems isolated, etc.). I would rather be wrong or have you mad at me for asking than ever have anything bad happen to you so I just have to check in with you and ask -- are you safe in your relationship?"
Because really, if you think about it, that is the point, isn't it? You WOULD rather be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable asking, or be wrong rather than have something bad happen to a friend of yours and not say something.
And -- so what if your friend tells you that he or she is fine?
Then say "Hey, that is great. But if you ever decide you aren't ok, I want you to know my door is always open." And you may also want to add, "And if you were ever concerned that I was not safe, I would hope you would ask me the same question, right?"
Because the point is, if we really have one another's backs, we should be able to ask each other these questions. And then if you can, you may want to check in again with your family member or friend again in a few weeks just to see how things are going.
People don't always tell you right away when they are in a relationship that is not safe or good for them. It takes time and it is not easy.
For help or assistance anytime, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or check out http://www.thehotline.org. Or for teens, check out the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline -- on the web at http://www.loveisrespect.org/ or at 1-866-331-9474.
It never hurts to ask -- and it may help change or save the life of someone you care about.
(And survivors....any comments or additional suggestions you have are most welcome! You know best what is helpful!)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
"Addressing Domestic Violence in the Workplace: An EAP/Employer Partnership" Webinar - Audio/Video Recording Now Available

A recent survey of CEOs found that most believe domestic violence to be a serious issue, yet 71% did not believe it is a problem in their company. The reality is that approximately 21% of full-time working adults report being a victim of domestic violence. (2005 National Survey, CAEPV)
This webinar examined: current research findings discussing the experience of abused women who sought help with EAPs, examples of EAP collaboration with Human Resources, Employee Relations and Corporate Security to address specific incidents of domestic violence, and a detailed case study of one employer's response to domestic violence.
Presenters were:
• Bob McCullough, Manager Critical Incidents/Workplace Supports, Magellan Health Services
The S2 - Safer, Smarter Workplace project is presented by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Workplace Violence Costs U.S. Businesses $70 Billion Per Year - More Than 70% Have No Policy To Address Workplace Violence
Did you know more than 70 percent of U.S. businesses have no policy or formal program in place to address workplace violence? However, violence costs businesses $70 billion a year, with $64.4 billion attributed to lost workplace productivity.
In the latest HRmarketer Market Share podcast, Kim Wells, executive director of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (
Wells suggests formalizing a program to keep the workplace safe, whether the violence is related to domestic or workplace issues. Components of a program include, formalizing a policy, creating a response team, building awareness and educating staff on the realities and affects of workplace violence.
"It sounds really simple to say ‘don't think it can't happen here,'" said Wells. "However, stop thinking it ‘can't happen here' because as soon as you do then you will start making plans to address potential issues."
Wells shared her insight during an interview with HRmarketer.com's president, Kevin Grossman. The interview can be heard on HRmarketer's HR Market Share podcast by visiting HRmarketer's blog. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or to access it via Hipcast.
HRmarketer's HR Market Share podcast covers hot topics in the HR space; recent mergers, acquisitions and earnings; recent HR supplier news; what's working in marketing and PR and what's not; interviews with HR suppliers and other marketing, PR or business thought leaders.
About HRmarketer.com
HRmarketer.com (www.hrmarketer.com) is a division of Fisher Vista LLC, a marketing software and services firm focusing exclusively on the human capital industry. Through its marketing and public relations services, the company has worked with nearly 700 human resource and employee benefit service providers, helping them generate publicity, website traffic, sales leads and improved SEO.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
"It's Time to Talk Day" - December 3, 2009
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Wednesday, December 02, 2009
The "Get Inspired! Project" - Talking About Domestic Violence and the Workplace
Of course I talked about domestic violence and its impact on the workplace...and about what people can do to make a difference...and about the amazing people I get to work with each and every day who are so committed to making this issue "everybody's business."
The entire project is really cool -- check it out at www.getinspiredproject.com -- and get inspired!