It can happen anywhere.
I know it can happen anywhere. That is what I try to help other people understand. And then it happened to Amy Nose. And I caught my breath.
Amy Nose worked at Taylor University in Upland, Indiana. Taylor University is a small, Christian liberal arts college. It is a very tight-knit community. Upland is a tiny, tiny place.
Amy was a victim of domestic violence in a most final way on March 25 when her estranged husband killed her in her mother's home. He later died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound.
According to the Indianapolis Star,"Authorities said the domestic problems between the couple had been ongoing for several weeks, with Amy Nose spending some time in a women's shelter. She filed for divorce on Feb. 11; that case was still pending in Grant Superior Court at the time of her death. On Wednesday night, Amy Nose filed a police report that alleged some act of intimidation by her husband." http://www.indystar.com/article/20100325/NEWS02/3250494/Two-die-after-Grant-Co.-standoff
My heart and my prayers go out to the Nose family, and to the Taylor University family - to Amy's coworkers and to the students who knew her.
If you want to know a bit about Amy, here is a piece where she is sharing with students at a Family Chapel service at Taylor in September of 2007. http://www.taylor.edu/community/news/amy-nose.shtml
I know how it can be to know everyone so well at such a small university, and I can't imagine how it must be for students and faculty and administrators to wrestle with this and wonder if there is something they could have done to help Amy...and how they will be able to help Amy's two daughters now - one of whom is a student at Taylor.
If you are wondering why this is so personal to me, and why it caught my breath, it is because I went to Taylor University. It is the "last place" in the world I would guess that someone would die from a murder-suicide...or from domestic violence.
Except.....that it can happen anywhere. And heartbreakingly, it does.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Love is respect - National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline Unveils New Interactive Teen Power And Control Wheel
This is really cool! Love is respect - National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline has just unveiled its new interactive Teen Power and Control Wheel.
Each spoke of the wheel addresses a different tactic abusers employ in order to control a partner. By clicking on each spoke of the wheel you can view the video diary of a scenario that corresponds with that description.
Each spoke of the wheel addresses a different tactic abusers employ in order to control a partner. By clicking on each spoke of the wheel you can view the video diary of a scenario that corresponds with that description.
This wheel is a great tool for conducting discussions about teen dating abuse and brainstorming possible resolutions. Click here to check it out! http://www.loveisrespect.org/2010/03/24/teen-power-and-control-wheel.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Vital Voices, Avon and the U.S. Department of State Hold Unprecedented Meeting on Global Issue of Violence Against Women
On Tuesday, March 9th Vital Voices will launch a three-day Conference on the Global Partnership to End Violence Against Women. The three-day conference hosted by Vital Voices in conjunction with the U.S. Department of State and with support from CAEPV Member the Avon Foundation for Women and Avon Products Inc. will look for new innovative solutions to address the global pandemic of violence against women with a focus on the three worst forms of violence against women and girls internationally: domestic violence, sexual violence and human trafficking. CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells will participate in this conference and facilitate a strategy session for business leaders.
The Conference will host delegations from fifteen countries with delegates representing diverse sectors -- business, government, law enforcement, the NGO community, media/entertainment, academia, and others. These delegates will work together to develop country-specific, culturally-sensitive solutions for dealing with violence against women within their home countries.
The Conference will host delegations from fifteen countries with delegates representing diverse sectors -- business, government, law enforcement, the NGO community, media/entertainment, academia, and others. These delegates will work together to develop country-specific, culturally-sensitive solutions for dealing with violence against women within their home countries.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
When A Boss Interferes On Behalf Of An Abuser in A Domestic Violence Situation
Let me give you a scenario:
There are several domestic violence situations between an employee and his girlfriend. And one of these incidents has taken place in view of the workplace. And the alleged abuser is a high level, high profile employee.
What should the boss do?
(Did I mention the boss is well-known as one who takes a strong stand against domestic violence?)
Should the boss:
1) Intervene in the situation to try to get it "taken care of?"
2) Follow any applicable workplace policies?
3) Do nothing as it is none of the bosses' business? (After all, there was only one altercation that allegedly took place at or around the workplace.)
If you answered #2, you are right. The boss should follow whatever policies and protocols are appropriate for any employee of that particular workplace regarding this issue - no matter how high profile or high level this employee might be.
Unfortunately that is not always the case. And as you may have read in the news, this appears to not be the case in the situation with New York Governor Paterson and one of his aides. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/02/nyregion/02paterson.html
What makes this situation concerning for so many people is that Governor Paterson is not an ordinary boss - he is a Governor with the ability to direct State Police and other officials. He is also a boss who has taken a stand against domestic violence.
He is also a governor who has signed an Executive Order for all state agencies in New York to have policies (and training) regarding domestic violence and its impact on the workplace: http://www.opdv.state.ny.us/professionals/workplace/execorder19.html
But I see something else - I see a boss using his powers to help an alleged abuser. And it may surprise you to learn this is not new. In fact, in my work, this is not new at all. It is not uncommon for employers to bail abusers out of jail because they are "good workers" and they don't want to lose them.
In this case, the victim of abuse was actually surprised the court would hear her because of the influence of her alleged abuser http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/25/nyregion/25transcript.html?ref=nyregion
While I find this whole situation incredibly sad, and awful for the victim of domestic violence (who it appears could not even completely trust the State Police in this case), I am unfortunately not surprised.
While this individual situation needs to be dealt with as a very serious case, we also need to look at it in the broader context of what happens to many victims of domestic violence who have no where to go or no where to turn because of bosses who "help" abusers, or bosses who fire victims because they "won't get that threatening boyfriend/girlfriend to stop showing up here." We need to make sure that our workplace policies are followed. No matter who they impact. Or how high up that person is in our organization.
Because victims -- and batterers -- can be anywhere in our workplaces. And to think differently or act differently makes us all susceptible to putting victims of domestic violence in situations where they are at risk. Or batterers in a position where we "help" them continue to batter.
(If you want to know what you can do to address domestic violence as a workplace issue, I invite you to visit our website at http://www.caepv.org/)
There are several domestic violence situations between an employee and his girlfriend. And one of these incidents has taken place in view of the workplace. And the alleged abuser is a high level, high profile employee.
What should the boss do?
(Did I mention the boss is well-known as one who takes a strong stand against domestic violence?)
Should the boss:
1) Intervene in the situation to try to get it "taken care of?"
2) Follow any applicable workplace policies?
3) Do nothing as it is none of the bosses' business? (After all, there was only one altercation that allegedly took place at or around the workplace.)
If you answered #2, you are right. The boss should follow whatever policies and protocols are appropriate for any employee of that particular workplace regarding this issue - no matter how high profile or high level this employee might be.
Unfortunately that is not always the case. And as you may have read in the news, this appears to not be the case in the situation with New York Governor Paterson and one of his aides. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/02/nyregion/02paterson.html
What makes this situation concerning for so many people is that Governor Paterson is not an ordinary boss - he is a Governor with the ability to direct State Police and other officials. He is also a boss who has taken a stand against domestic violence.
He is also a governor who has signed an Executive Order for all state agencies in New York to have policies (and training) regarding domestic violence and its impact on the workplace: http://www.opdv.state.ny.us/professionals/workplace/execorder19.html
But I see something else - I see a boss using his powers to help an alleged abuser. And it may surprise you to learn this is not new. In fact, in my work, this is not new at all. It is not uncommon for employers to bail abusers out of jail because they are "good workers" and they don't want to lose them.
In this case, the victim of abuse was actually surprised the court would hear her because of the influence of her alleged abuser http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/25/nyregion/25transcript.html?ref=nyregion
While I find this whole situation incredibly sad, and awful for the victim of domestic violence (who it appears could not even completely trust the State Police in this case), I am unfortunately not surprised.
While this individual situation needs to be dealt with as a very serious case, we also need to look at it in the broader context of what happens to many victims of domestic violence who have no where to go or no where to turn because of bosses who "help" abusers, or bosses who fire victims because they "won't get that threatening boyfriend/girlfriend to stop showing up here." We need to make sure that our workplace policies are followed. No matter who they impact. Or how high up that person is in our organization.
Because victims -- and batterers -- can be anywhere in our workplaces. And to think differently or act differently makes us all susceptible to putting victims of domestic violence in situations where they are at risk. Or batterers in a position where we "help" them continue to batter.
(If you want to know what you can do to address domestic violence as a workplace issue, I invite you to visit our website at http://www.caepv.org/)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Delaware Governor Announces New State Employee Domestic Violence Policy
On February 12, Delaware Governor Jack A. Markell announced to state employees a new State of Delaware Domestic Violence Policy that will better assist state employees who are victims of domestic violence, delivering on a pledge the Governor made in October 2009 in Executive Order 12. “No one should go to work in fear. We want employees who feel threatened by domestic violence to get the help and support they need. This policy is designed to put victims at ease discussing and seeking assistance for their individual situation. We will not tolerate domestic violence of any type or magnitude,” said Markell.
Delaware’s new Domestic Violence Policy for state employees was drafted by the Human Resources Management Section of the Office of Management and Budget in conjunction with advocacy groups. It provides guidelines and procedures to assist state employees affected by domestic violence.
The state will reasonably accommodate victims needing assistance in areas such as work schedule adjustments, temporary relocations to a new office, parking space re-assignments, and security escorts. Photographs of perpetrators may be provided to security and if an employee agrees, co-workers may be advised of the situation. Each state agency shall designate an individual who may assist with domestic violence issues within that agency. Employees who are victims may choose to notify that designated individual or a supervisor. The policy is consistent with applicable federal and state law, merit rules and collective bargaining agreements. The state is encouraging employee/victims to retain any evidence of domestic violence activity, such as threatening emails, text or voice-mail messages.
Agencies instrumental in developing the policy included the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council, chaired by Senator Patricia Blevins; the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence; ContactLifeline; the Domestic Violence Task Force of the Delaware Commission for Women, the Victims’ Rights Task Force and the Delaware Center for Justice.
Delaware’s new Domestic Violence Policy for state employees was drafted by the Human Resources Management Section of the Office of Management and Budget in conjunction with advocacy groups. It provides guidelines and procedures to assist state employees affected by domestic violence.
The state will reasonably accommodate victims needing assistance in areas such as work schedule adjustments, temporary relocations to a new office, parking space re-assignments, and security escorts. Photographs of perpetrators may be provided to security and if an employee agrees, co-workers may be advised of the situation. Each state agency shall designate an individual who may assist with domestic violence issues within that agency. Employees who are victims may choose to notify that designated individual or a supervisor. The policy is consistent with applicable federal and state law, merit rules and collective bargaining agreements. The state is encouraging employee/victims to retain any evidence of domestic violence activity, such as threatening emails, text or voice-mail messages.
Agencies instrumental in developing the policy included the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council, chaired by Senator Patricia Blevins; the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence; ContactLifeline; the Domestic Violence Task Force of the Delaware Commission for Women, the Victims’ Rights Task Force and the Delaware Center for Justice.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
NFL Players Association Joins Justice Department Effort to Raise Awareness of Violence Against Women
On February 4, the Justice Department announced that the National Football League Players Association (NFLPA) joined its year-long campaign to commemorate the 15 year anniversary of President Bill Clinton signing the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) into law.
The NFLPA has "Joined the List," a group of more than 100 celebrities including actors, musicians and athletes, who have lent their names to raise awareness with their fans, through Web and fan sites, and social networking profiles. In addition to the NFLPA, 16 players - including New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees - have lent their names to this initiative.
The NFLPA also announced its partnership with CAEPV Member the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF), a grantee of the Justice Department's Office on Violence Against Women (OVW), on their "Callout Card" contest as part of their That's Not Cool teen initiative. The contest is designed to engage youth and invites teens to create "callout cards" that can be used to raise awareness of teen dating abuse. The contest's grand prize winner will receive a trip to Washington, D.C., to attend the NFL PLAYERS Gala, and will have a chance to walk the red carpet and meet with top NFL stars. Four runners-up will receive autographed NFL memorabilia, such as a jersey or helmet. Ten honorable mention winners will receive That's Not Cool t-shirts and NFLPA hats.
The contest, for teenagers ranging in age from 13 to 18, continues through March 15.
For more information, go to: www.thatsnotcool.com/contest.
The NFLPA has "Joined the List," a group of more than 100 celebrities including actors, musicians and athletes, who have lent their names to raise awareness with their fans, through Web and fan sites, and social networking profiles. In addition to the NFLPA, 16 players - including New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees - have lent their names to this initiative.
The NFLPA also announced its partnership with CAEPV Member the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF), a grantee of the Justice Department's Office on Violence Against Women (OVW), on their "Callout Card" contest as part of their That's Not Cool teen initiative. The contest is designed to engage youth and invites teens to create "callout cards" that can be used to raise awareness of teen dating abuse. The contest's grand prize winner will receive a trip to Washington, D.C., to attend the NFL PLAYERS Gala, and will have a chance to walk the red carpet and meet with top NFL stars. Four runners-up will receive autographed NFL memorabilia, such as a jersey or helmet. Ten honorable mention winners will receive That's Not Cool t-shirts and NFLPA hats.
The contest, for teenagers ranging in age from 13 to 18, continues through March 15.
For more information, go to: www.thatsnotcool.com/contest.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
CAEPV Member JoyFul Heart Foundation Needs Your Vote in the Pepsi Refresh Project!
CAEPV Member Joyful Heart Foundation, founded by Law & Order: SVU actress, Mariska Hargitay, is participating in the Pepsi Refresh Project, hoping to win a $250,000 grant.
Winning the Pepsi Refresh grant would mean that Joyful Heart would be able to continue to publish the foundation’s magazine, Reunion. With it Joyful Heart is reaching thousands of survivors nationwide, bringing the joyful message of hope and healing to readers. Reunion is also creating a sense of community among survivors and those who help them on their paths to healing.
How can you help? You can vote online at refresheverything.com/votejoy to support Joyful Heart. Voting starts continues through 2/28 and you can vote once per day. It only takes 15 seconds to sign up and vote. Then, enlist your friends and family to do the same, and encourage others to vote, and keep voting for Joyful Heart.
More info available at http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/pepsirefresh.htm.
Winning the Pepsi Refresh grant would mean that Joyful Heart would be able to continue to publish the foundation’s magazine, Reunion. With it Joyful Heart is reaching thousands of survivors nationwide, bringing the joyful message of hope and healing to readers. Reunion is also creating a sense of community among survivors and those who help them on their paths to healing.
How can you help? You can vote online at refresheverything.com/votejoy to support Joyful Heart. Voting starts continues through 2/28 and you can vote once per day. It only takes 15 seconds to sign up and vote. Then, enlist your friends and family to do the same, and encourage others to vote, and keep voting for Joyful Heart.
More info available at http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/pepsirefresh.htm.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Associate Attorney General Perrelli, Senators Announce Passage of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month Resolution
Associate Attorney General Tom Perrelli joined Senators Mike Crapo (R-Idaho), Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) and Joseph Lieberman (I-Conn.) on January 28 to announce the Senate's passage of Resolution 373, which designates February 2010 as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month."
Since 2004, Congress has designated the first full week in February as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week." However, this year the Justice Department worked with the Senate to designate the entire month of February as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month." This provides parity to the three other crimes included in the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) -- sexual assault, domestic violence and stalking, each of which has a designated month for public education and awareness activities.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, and approximately 10 percent of high school students have been hurt physically by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Teen dating violence often keeps students from attending or excelling in school, and puts victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, teen pregnancy, suicide and adult revictimization.
In the past decade, the use of technology by stalkers has become commonplace, complicating prevention and intervention efforts. One in four teens in a relationship say they have been harassed or put down by their partner through their cell phone and texting, and more than 60 percent of teens have been pressured to engage in "sexting." (Source: U.S. Department of Justice)
For resources and information, visit http://www.teendvmonth.org/.
Since 2004, Congress has designated the first full week in February as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week." However, this year the Justice Department worked with the Senate to designate the entire month of February as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month." This provides parity to the three other crimes included in the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) -- sexual assault, domestic violence and stalking, each of which has a designated month for public education and awareness activities.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, and approximately 10 percent of high school students have been hurt physically by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Teen dating violence often keeps students from attending or excelling in school, and puts victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, teen pregnancy, suicide and adult revictimization.
In the past decade, the use of technology by stalkers has become commonplace, complicating prevention and intervention efforts. One in four teens in a relationship say they have been harassed or put down by their partner through their cell phone and texting, and more than 60 percent of teens have been pressured to engage in "sexting." (Source: U.S. Department of Justice)
For resources and information, visit http://www.teendvmonth.org/.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Welcome to Break the Cycle - The Newest Member of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV)
We are pleased to welcome Break the Cycle as our newest CAEPV member!
At Break the Cycle, they believe everybody has the right to safe and healthy relationships—regardless of where they live, who they are or what they believe. That is why they work everyday towards their mission to engage, educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free from domestic violence.
Break the Cycle offers programs that defy geographic bounds—ensuring that no young person is excluded from receiving the help, tools and information they need to live free from violence. Our success is demonstrated by more than a decade of leadership in working with teens to prevent and end domestic and dating violence.
They are also the sponsors of the Teen Dating Violence Prevention Project to raise awareness and coordinate activities for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Learn more at http://www.teendvmonth.org/.
The Corporate Alliance shares in these wonderful values and we look forward to this new partnership with our friends at Break the Cycle!
At Break the Cycle, they believe everybody has the right to safe and healthy relationships—regardless of where they live, who they are or what they believe. That is why they work everyday towards their mission to engage, educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free from domestic violence.
Break the Cycle offers programs that defy geographic bounds—ensuring that no young person is excluded from receiving the help, tools and information they need to live free from violence. Our success is demonstrated by more than a decade of leadership in working with teens to prevent and end domestic and dating violence.
They are also the sponsors of the Teen Dating Violence Prevention Project to raise awareness and coordinate activities for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Learn more at http://www.teendvmonth.org/.
The Corporate Alliance shares in these wonderful values and we look forward to this new partnership with our friends at Break the Cycle!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
January is National Stalking Awareness Month -"Know It. Name It. Stop It."
This month (January 2010) marks the 7th observance of National Stalking Awareness Month (NSAM) in the United States.
Did you know that each year, more than one million women and nearly 400,000 men in the United States are victims of stalking?
This year the theme is “Stalking: Know It. Name It. Stop It.” It challenges communities (including workplaces) to combat this dangerous crime by learning more about it and taking action.
The Stalking Resource Center and the Office on Violence Against Women has launched the 2010 National Stalking Awareness Month Web site at http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/. The site offers fact sheets, media tools, brochures, posters and artwork, and much more. Check it out!
People do not always realize what "stalking" entails - your "stalker" is usually someone you know, and very often when a person is stalked at work, that indicates a "ramp up" in potential lethality. Do not "brush off" stalking. Take it seriously. . .whether it is in person or electronic. Keep records. Don't throw things away.
Often when I discuss this with people, they have not considered keeping the emails, or voice mails, or notes from the stalker as a record and they should. Do not feel silly about talking with law enforcement about this. . .and if you feel that police are brushing you off, talk to your state's attorney or district attorney.
Stalking is serious business, and laws have changed considerably across the US to protect victims.And if you are an employer, do not take "workplace stalking" lightly. A person being followed and called at work is a person in potential danger. And so is the rest of your workplace. Seek assistance.
And http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/ is a great place to start.
Did you know that each year, more than one million women and nearly 400,000 men in the United States are victims of stalking?
This year the theme is “Stalking: Know It. Name It. Stop It.” It challenges communities (including workplaces) to combat this dangerous crime by learning more about it and taking action.
The Stalking Resource Center and the Office on Violence Against Women has launched the 2010 National Stalking Awareness Month Web site at http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/. The site offers fact sheets, media tools, brochures, posters and artwork, and much more. Check it out!
People do not always realize what "stalking" entails - your "stalker" is usually someone you know, and very often when a person is stalked at work, that indicates a "ramp up" in potential lethality. Do not "brush off" stalking. Take it seriously. . .whether it is in person or electronic. Keep records. Don't throw things away.
Often when I discuss this with people, they have not considered keeping the emails, or voice mails, or notes from the stalker as a record and they should. Do not feel silly about talking with law enforcement about this. . .and if you feel that police are brushing you off, talk to your state's attorney or district attorney.
Stalking is serious business, and laws have changed considerably across the US to protect victims.And if you are an employer, do not take "workplace stalking" lightly. A person being followed and called at work is a person in potential danger. And so is the rest of your workplace. Seek assistance.
And http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/ is a great place to start.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Jane Randel of Liz Claiborne Inc. Featured As "Get Inspired! Project" Day 84 Interview
CAEPV Member, Jane Randel (Vice President, Corporate Communications, Liz Claiborne Inc.), was interviewed for "The Get Inspired! Project" -- a project that interviews one person a day for 365 days about what inspires them.
Her interview is Day 84 (Wednesday, December 23, 2009) and appears at http://www.getinspiredproject.com/.
Jane is one of the most inspiring people I know – and I know you will be inspired by her interview!
(I was honored to be interviewed on Day 63 of this project. What inspires me is all of our CAEPV members and everyone so dedicated to this issue... and especially the amazing survivors whose stories never cease to keep me going! To hear or read the interview, click here.)
Her interview is Day 84 (Wednesday, December 23, 2009) and appears at http://www.getinspiredproject.com/.
Jane is one of the most inspiring people I know – and I know you will be inspired by her interview!
(I was honored to be interviewed on Day 63 of this project. What inspires me is all of our CAEPV members and everyone so dedicated to this issue... and especially the amazing survivors whose stories never cease to keep me going! To hear or read the interview, click here.)
Friday, December 18, 2009
Domestic Violence and the Holidays: What Do You Say?
So -- it's the holidays and you will be around family and friends that you may not usually see. And what if you see something that you are concerned about? What if you think someone you care about may not be in a safe relationship?
Here is the big difficult question:"What do you say to someone if you are concerned that they may be in an abusive relationship?"
Here is one pretty good way that I've found to talk with someone -- granted this is my style and everyone has a different style, but it goes something like this: "You know I really care a lot about you. I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately, and that (and you would fill in here the other things you've noticed -- like that the person seems afraid of their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, has unexplained injuries, seems isolated, etc.). I would rather be wrong or have you mad at me for asking than ever have anything bad happen to you so I just have to check in with you and ask -- are you safe in your relationship?"
Because really, if you think about it, that is the point, isn't it? You WOULD rather be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable asking, or be wrong rather than have something bad happen to a friend of yours and not say something.
And -- so what if your friend tells you that he or she is fine?
Then say "Hey, that is great. But if you ever decide you aren't ok, I want you to know my door is always open." And you may also want to add, "And if you were ever concerned that I was not safe, I would hope you would ask me the same question, right?"
Because the point is, if we really have one another's backs, we should be able to ask each other these questions. And then if you can, you may want to check in again with your family member or friend again in a few weeks just to see how things are going.
People don't always tell you right away when they are in a relationship that is not safe or good for them. It takes time and it is not easy.
For help or assistance anytime, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or check out http://www.thehotline.org. Or for teens, check out the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline -- on the web at http://www.loveisrespect.org/ or at 1-866-331-9474.
It never hurts to ask -- and it may help change or save the life of someone you care about.
(And survivors....any comments or additional suggestions you have are most welcome! You know best what is helpful!)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
"Addressing Domestic Violence in the Workplace: An EAP/Employer Partnership" Webinar - Audio/Video Recording Now Available
The audio and video recording of the S2 Webinar: Addressing Domestic Violence in the Workplace: An EAP/Employer Partnership is available at http://www.caepv.org/about/program_detail.php?refID=51.
Downloadable materials from the webinar are available as well.
A recent survey of CEOs found that most believe domestic violence to be a serious issue, yet 71% did not believe it is a problem in their company. The reality is that approximately 21% of full-time working adults report being a victim of domestic violence. (2005 National Survey, CAEPV)
This webinar examined: current research findings discussing the experience of abused women who sought help with EAPs, examples of EAP collaboration with Human Resources, Employee Relations and Corporate Security to address specific incidents of domestic violence, and a detailed case study of one employer's response to domestic violence.
Presenters were:
• Bob McCullough, Manager Critical Incidents/Workplace Supports, Magellan Health Services
• Keshia Pollack, Department of Public Health Policy and Management, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health
• John Cantrell, Assistant Director, Corporate Security and Investigations, CIGNA Corporation
• Kerrie Loyde, Senior Manager, Global Employee Relations, Gap Inc.
The S2 - Safer, Smarter Workplace project is presented by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Workplace Violence Costs U.S. Businesses $70 Billion Per Year - More Than 70% Have No Policy To Address Workplace Violence
Did you know more than 70 percent of U.S.
In the latest HRmarketer Market Share podcast, Kim Wells, executive director of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (
Wells suggests formalizing a program to keep the workplace safe, whether the violence is related to domestic or workplace issues. Components of a program include, formalizing a policy, creating a response team, building awareness and educating staff on the realities and affects of workplace violence.
"It sounds really simple to say ‘don't think it can't happen here,'" said Wells. "However, stop thinking it ‘can't happen here' because as soon as you do then you will start making plans to address potential issues."
Wells shared her insight during an interview with HRmarketer.com's president, Kevin Grossman. The interview can be heard on HRmarketer's HR Market Share podcast by visiting HRmarketer's blog. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or to access it via Hipcast.
HRmarketer's HR Market Share podcast covers hot topics in the HR space; recent mergers, acquisitions and earnings; recent HR supplier news; what's working in marketing and PR and what's not; interviews with HR suppliers and other marketing, PR or business thought leaders.
About HRmarketer.com
HRmarketer.com (www.hrmarketer.com) is a division of Fisher Vista LLC, a marketing software and services firm focusing exclusively on the human capital industry. Through its marketing and public relations services, the company has worked with nearly 700 human resource and employee benefit service providers, helping them generate publicity, website traffic, sales leads and improved SEO.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
"It's Time to Talk Day" - December 3, 2009
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The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) is participating in Liz Claiborne Inc.’s sixth annual It’s Time to Talk Day -- a day dedicated to ensuring that Americans speak-up about a subject that most people simply prefer not to discuss — domestic violence. We are proud to have been involved in this event since the beginning!
It’s Time to Talk Day events will be held nationwide, including at the Department of Justice in Washington, DC with Attorney General Eric Holder and Education Secretary Arne Duncan.
CAEPV will be participating in a “Talk Radio Row” on domestic violence at Liz Claiborne headquarters in New York. Major partners for this year’s event include The Department of Justice, CBS Evening News, REDBOOK, Seventeen, DoSomething.org, one, MTV, the Joyful Heart Foundation, Talkers Magazine and Talk Radio News Service. For more information visit http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/.
And don't forget to take a moment to talk in your life!
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
The "Get Inspired! Project" - Talking About Domestic Violence and the Workplace
I was honored to be interviewed by Toni Reece, for the "Get Inspired! Project" -- the interview is #63 of 365 interviews that will be done - one each day -- of people who talk about how they are inspired and how they hope to inspire others. My interview can be found at http://www.getinspiredproject.com/2009/12/02/day-63-kim-wells/.
Of course I talked about domestic violence and its impact on the workplace...and about what people can do to make a difference...and about the amazing people I get to work with each and every day who are so committed to making this issue "everybody's business."
The entire project is really cool -- check it out at www.getinspiredproject.com -- and get inspired!
Of course I talked about domestic violence and its impact on the workplace...and about what people can do to make a difference...and about the amazing people I get to work with each and every day who are so committed to making this issue "everybody's business."
The entire project is really cool -- check it out at www.getinspiredproject.com -- and get inspired!
Monday, November 23, 2009
December 3rd Marks Liz Claiborne Inc. 6th Annual National "It's Time to Talk Day"
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Thursday, December 3, 2009 marks Liz Claiborne Inc.’s sixth annual It’s Time to Talk Day, a day dedicated to ensuring that Americans speak-up about a subject that most people simply prefer not to discuss — domestic violence.
This year Liz Claiborne Inc. continues their very successful partnership with Talk Radio News Service by sponsoring their annual Domestic Violence Talk Radio Row at Liz Claiborne headquarters in New York City. Leading national and local talk radio hosts will once again conduct back-to-back interviews with guests on various domestic violence issues throughout the entire day.
CAEPV has been proud to be involved in It’s Time to Talk Day since its inception and looks forward to participating this year. It’s Time to Talk Day events will be held nationwide, including at the Department of Justice in Washington, DC with Attorney General Eric Holder and Education Secretary Arne Duncan.
I will be participating in a “Talk Radio Row” on domestic violence at Liz Claiborne headquarters in New York. Major partners for this year’s event include The Department of Justice, CBS Evening News, REDBOOK, Seventeen, DoSomething.org, one, MTV, the Joyful Heart Foundation, Talkers Magazine and Talk Radio News Service.
For more information visit http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/
(And don't forget to "take a moment to talk" in your life!)
(And don't forget to "take a moment to talk" in your life!)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Hope For Peace
If you think the media does not care about domestic violence and won't cover the issue unless it's a sensational story - I have something wonderful to share with you.
KNWA (Northwest Arkansas) has been doing a weekly series every Wednesday called "Hope For Peace."
The series started October 7 and the series continues through the end of November. You can view all the archived stories at http://nwahomepage.com/content/hope.
And these are not little one minute stories - these are long 4-5 minute segments devoted to the issue.
This week the issue was domestic violence and the impact on the workplace. Previous segments have included Arkansas Governor Beebe discussing his own family's heartbreak over domestic violence.
I give BIG kudos to the management at KNWA and to anchor Neile Jones for getting the stories and the information out. And for taking the time to really delve into the issue in this way.
We all "hope for peace" -- and KNWA is truly trying to do something about it. Again, that link is http://nwahomepage.com/content/hope.
KNWA (Northwest Arkansas) has been doing a weekly series every Wednesday called "Hope For Peace."
The series started October 7 and the series continues through the end of November. You can view all the archived stories at http://nwahomepage.com/content/hope.
And these are not little one minute stories - these are long 4-5 minute segments devoted to the issue.
This week the issue was domestic violence and the impact on the workplace. Previous segments have included Arkansas Governor Beebe discussing his own family's heartbreak over domestic violence.
I give BIG kudos to the management at KNWA and to anchor Neile Jones for getting the stories and the information out. And for taking the time to really delve into the issue in this way.
We all "hope for peace" -- and KNWA is truly trying to do something about it. Again, that link is http://nwahomepage.com/content/hope.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A True "Hero of the Heart"
Our CAEPV Member Joyful Heart Foundation has launched a wonderful new magazine, Reunion. It is something really special, and you can check it out here: http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/uniflip_publication/index.html
Inside the premiere issue they highlight a wonderful “Hero of the Heart” -- my dear friend Jane Randel.
Jane also happens to be the Vice President of Corporate Communications for Liz Claiborne Inc. I don't think I know anyone as dedicated to working to make this a world where "love is not abuse" than Jane.
She is truly a "Hero of the Heart" -- and she won't like that I wrote this blog and mentioned this article, because she is one of the most humble people that I know. Which is one of the reasons I love her so much!
To read that article and learn about Jane’s determination to make this a world free of violence, click here.
Inside the premiere issue they highlight a wonderful “Hero of the Heart” -- my dear friend Jane Randel.
Jane also happens to be the Vice President of Corporate Communications for Liz Claiborne Inc. I don't think I know anyone as dedicated to working to make this a world where "love is not abuse" than Jane.
She is truly a "Hero of the Heart" -- and she won't like that I wrote this blog and mentioned this article, because she is one of the most humble people that I know. Which is one of the reasons I love her so much!
To read that article and learn about Jane’s determination to make this a world free of violence, click here.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Good Morning America's Interview with Rihanna
Good Morning America aired an interview with Rihanna this morning and yesterday morning. The entirety of the interview will be show on 20/20 tonight. (To see a previous post on this subject, click here.)
Rihanna was 20 years-old, and Chris Brown, 19, when they were involved in a brutal case of relationship violence. The Chris Brown and Rihanna incident should not go by with out talking about the urgent need for education on teen dating violence and abuse.
Link to the Rihanna interview on Good Morning America:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/rihanna-speaks-chris-brown-assault/story?id=8999410
For wonderful resources for teens and their parents, head to http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/.
Rihanna was 20 years-old, and Chris Brown, 19, when they were involved in a brutal case of relationship violence. The Chris Brown and Rihanna incident should not go by with out talking about the urgent need for education on teen dating violence and abuse.
Link to the Rihanna interview on Good Morning America:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/rihanna-speaks-chris-brown-assault/story?id=8999410
For wonderful resources for teens and their parents, head to http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/.
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